Monday, September 28, 2009

Baby Steps

My parents had off today so they drove the hour and a half to help out around my house. It was one of those excellent visits where my Mom came down and cooked multiple nights worth of food while my Dad mowed the lawn and power-washed the house. This mind you was done before I even came home from work. I love those guys.

It wasn’t all them give and me take because I promised to fix my Mother’s Netbook computer. The Netbook is a month old Hp and it is taking around an exorbitant amount of time to start up which is obviously a problem. I spent at least 20 minutes (maybe five minutes) routing through the boot screens trying to figure out why that was happening. Once I realized I was out of my depth I gave up and moved on to computer work I could handle.

I asked my Mother why she did not have Chrome or Firefox on her computer and she asked me what they were. I explained that they were internet browsers, like Internet Explorer (IE) but better. She said, “I thought Internet Explore was the internet”. After a brief explanation that included me clearing up that neither IE nor AOL were in fact “The Internet” I convinced my Mom that installing Chrome was a good idea.

Once I installed Chrome I stated that I was going to delete the IE icon off her desktop to save space and force her to use the new browser. At this point both my parents shouted “No!” as if I had said, “I am going to take a hammer to the screen so I can figure out how many whacks it can take before it bleeds “1’s” and “0’s”. Turned out my Dad was of the belief that you don’t delete things from computers ever and my Mom didn’t think she could find the internet without the blue “e” (though she was more concerned that Chrome would disallow her from visiting AOL.com).

Ignoring my Dad’s concern I told my Mother that I was simply going to rename Chrome “Click me to get on the internet”. She then forced me to make AOL her homepage, which I begrudgingly did (baby steps).

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Whoot Watch: Dr. Seuss is a Genius

The wife and I were lucky enough to have the niece and nephew over for the day again so I figured it was about time to file another report. First off, before they got here, Johnny and Jordan’s mom told them they were coming over and Johnny’s response was “can we go now?” When his mom explained that they were coming over in about two hours, Jordan screamed “Now, now, now! (While I’m not entirely sure that dialog is 100% accurate I like to believe it is).

Anyway, the kids got here at 2:30 and we decided it was best to take them to the park right away. This was good considering the second Johnny walked in the door he said, “Can we go to the park?” I replied, “Of course we can go to the park, as soon as mom sets off”. Johnny ran over to his mother and said “goodbye mom” (she wasn’t ready to go for another 20 minutes or so and he was pissed).

Once mom left we took the kids and the dog to the park (we aren’t allowed to go without Benji). I had planned on keeping Benji on his leash while walking him around playground but Johnny informed me that I was supposed to tie Benji to the bench. I immediately tied him to the bench (4 year olds have a very specific sense of protocol). Johnny then started to chase me around the playground which was a lot of fun because while I’m not faster than many people I can still outrun my nephew. Until of course I realized that he has much more wind than I do.

After my lungs damn near gave out I stopped running, Johnny caught me, wound up, and punched me about six inches below the belt. That, as you can imagine, led to a lot of tears (on my part) and a brief conversation about Superman and kryptonite. The talk would have gone on longer if Johnny could get past the fact a rock from outer space was not analogous to an extremely tender spot on my body. But his plucky logic did win the moment and I had to acquiesce.

While Johnny and I were running around the playground the wife was busy wrestling Jordan’s fingers out of her mouth for approximately 30 minutes straight (she still hasn’t grasped the concept of germs).

On the way home from the park I asked Johnny what he wanted for dinner. He said Nifty-Fifties I asked him if he had cash, and he said no. Then we went to Nifty-Fifties for dinner. During dinner Jordan asked to sit next to me, which was an honor because up to this point she was still refusing to hug me hello.

I soon found that sitting next to a two year old at a meal is not much of a meal at all. She did not want to eat a thing, enjoyed shoving half eaten fries into my face, and she has a habit of turning around and screaming in the ears of the people in the booth behind us (thankfully we were not asked to leave).

After the meal (and about 20 bucks in the Nifty-Fifties arcade) I set up the Wii for some sports with Johnny while the wife gave Jordan a bath. That all ended up being fairly uneventful other than Johnny completely kicking my ass in bowling and Jordan peeing in the tub. In about an hour’s time Jordan was sleeping like… well a baby, and Johnny was all ready for bed. I asked Johnny who he wanted to read him a story and he said; “I want Aunt Kimmy and Uncle Steve both to read me a story, but Uncle Steve should go last because he’s much better” (I had given him a movie to borrow about 3 minutes earlier).

After informing Johnny of the places he’d go I said, “Goodnight” and he was out cold. Dr. Seuss is a genius.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

FlashForward: Pilot

The key word here is potential. Overall it was a weak premier to what I hope will be an awesome series. All the ingredients were present for a stellar show and I was unfortunately underwhelmed.

This show is leading us to believe that the world blacks out and 2 hours later the FBI is talking about what they saw in their dreams. Where is the director that screams at the plucky field agents about how they are dumbasses that need to come up with a real lead? Or even, “get your asses out on the streets and save some people from the fraking apocalypse”. Instead we get, “you dreamed that you had the lead on the investigation so here it is”.

This might be a bit nit picky but the oil tanker explosion scene seemed to be trying so hard to mimic the scene from the “Lost” pilot where the guy got sucked into a jet engine that I found myself suppressing a chuckle… maybe I just have a macabre sense of humor.

Incidentally, any fan of mythology knows that the only way to guarantee a prophecy will come true is to actively fight against it. Are they trying to avoid the future by stepping in their prearranged footprints or attempting to make it come true? I guess that depends on each characters flash and that will lead to some interesting conflict over the course of the season I’m sure.

I like the caste of characters introduced so far and that says a lot considering how much I disliked many of their decisions in the face of catastrophe.

This show had one absolutely spectacular moment and two great promises for the future. Near the end of the episode when the two FBI agents located suspect zero I had a little case of the goose bumps. FF did such a great job selling the fact that everyone blacked out for 2 minutes 17 seconds that I really was shocked to see someone defy that rule (in Detroit no less). Additionally the “this season on FlashForward” montage at the end of the episode was pretty exciting. Finally, I am looking forward to the fact that the story of this “Flash” will be told by the end of the first season. There is no way this particular arch lasts beyond April 29, 2010. A quick check on my laptop’s calendar informed me that the 29th is a Thursday night; let’s just call that season one finale night.

Is this the new Lost? No. Might this be more interesting that 97% of what’s on television? More than likely!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Heroes: Orientation & Power Play

“Heroes” returned this week (insert yawn here). In all fairness they did their best to draw in old fans and make them recall the fondness they once had for this show. The opening montage was 99.3% footage from season one (the only good season) and .7% other. They introduced characters with morally ambiguous motivations (Inky, Human Canvas, and Flashblade) that seem to be interesting despite the fact that they are traveling carnival acts.

Even Tracy, played by the actress that refuses to leave the show despite how many times they kill the character she is currently playing seemed interesting in these opening two episodes. Actually, I may have to take that back considering she went from ruthless killer to lost puppy that just wants to help people because Noah made her trust him in a 45 second conversation (I heart poor sentence structure). Well, on third thought, I actually like the pairing of Noah and Tracy so I’ll forgive the show of her radical change.

Peter playing super EMT was kind of neat though it seems like he is simply spinning his wheels. The Sylar as Nathan beast seems to be going somewhere, but could get old really quick if it does not get there soon. The Sylar echo in Parkman’s head was annoying and seemed to only serve the purpose of giving Zachary Quinto something to do in the opener (next time give him the episode off).

Claire in college is simply not working for me. Why does she give away her superhero identity like a Pez dispenser? She jumped out a dorm window and around 100 other rooms had a line of sight on her. She’d be lucky if only her morbid roommate saw her fall and put herself back together.

While I did not love the Hiro and Ando save a cat story I do like that Hiro has serious consequences for using his powers. I wonder who is going to magically fix him and take the drama they are slowly building out of the series… maybe Inky.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Modern Family (Advanced Review)

Great news, the Beta Blog has been getting some attention and an ABC executive sent me an advanced screener for the “Modern Family” pilot. OK that’s not entirely true. The Beta Blog is not getting much attention and no one from ABC sent me anything. But I did get a sneak peek at “Modern Family” through contacts I’ve made on the internet (I follow Ausiello’s Twitter feed and signed up for a power TV watcher program through EW).

In any event, how I came across the pilot episode of “Modern Family” is not as important as the fact that this is a terrific sitcom. This was a show that was not on my radar (http://bit.ly/SJlsZ ) before my sneak peek, but I’m thrilled it is now.

“Modern Family” is filmed as a mocumentary styled sitcom. It’s meant to look like a documentary or reality TV shows with the characters occasionally confessing or clarifying thoughts to the camera (think The Office). But as the name implies this is meant to be a comical look at the modern American family. While I don’t believe that the show depicts the new U.S. familial archetype I can enthusiastically say that it delivers on the funny!

The pilot has us following three separate families which (mini-spoiler) are all connected by the end of the episode. All three families have their humorous moments but as of right now it’s the traditional family that delivers on the most laughs, with the gay couple who have recently adopted a Vietnamese baby girl coming in a close second. The old man/young woman family provided the fewest laughs but I think that’s because I over identified with their, terrible at soccer, child who was the butt of most of the families jokes.

“Modern Family” is by far the best of the freshmen series that I have seen so far this season. What more; if this first episode is any indicator it may be the first comedy that has a legitimate shot at loosening the grip that “30 Rock” currently holds over Emmy next year at this time. But I will hold on future 2010 Emmy speculation until this show strings together another two or three episodes of this caliber.

Check “Modern Family” out on ABC Wednesday night at 9:00 PM Eastern, you’ll be glad you did!

Friday, September 18, 2009

Fringe: A New Day in an Old Town

Let’s start with the bad. Olivia has short term amnesia, really? That is a bit of an upsetting way to start this season.

Charlie has been killed off! That is extremely unfortunate considering Charlie was a standup guy who Olivia could count on and did not have ulterior motivations. Though it should not have been too surprising considering they hired the new female FBI agent (and the actor who plays Charlie posted that he got fired from Fringe on his Facebook page last May).

The government did not realize that Fringe Division was worthy of funding with all the crazy crap that happens in the universe of this show? Hopefully they can end that storyline now that Peter has given them the magic appearance changing box.

Despite the stuff that I didn’t like, I really did enjoy this episode. Peter is really continuing to take a leadership role. It wasn’t Broyles that saved Fringe division it was Peter. Speaking of Broyles how creepy was that kiss between him and Nina? It seemed like a threat on her part, though everything seems like a threat on her part.

Walter was just fine in this episode, I love that he still can’t remember Astrid’s name. Also, he continues to mistake his Peter’s childhood for this Peter’s childhood. I can’t wait for Peter to figure out who he really is.

I liked Agent Amy Jessup, though I can’t believe that I am watching two prime time network TV shows that require me to have semi-mastered knowledge of the Old Testament.

Supernatural: Good God, Y'all!

An apocalypse with God, Lucifer, and the 4 horsemen this is really shaping up to be the real thing. It would seem I need to start watching Supernatural with a biblical scholar by my side.

Last episode vaguely introduced “God” as a possible protagonist but this flat out cemented his role as the key missing deity who can save the world of man (they should start checking coma patients in Asbury Park NJ).

I love the fact that Cas is pissed about his role in the apocalypse. He turned on his brothers to get Dean to stop/save Sam but Dean failed. I’m intrigued to see how exactly Cas is rationalizing his resurrection as a work of God if God is missing.

Dean has really cool rib cage tats now. Also neat was the fact that Cas must now call the guys on the cell phone.

Does anyone find it interesting that in Supernatural lore Lucifer was lost to the demons and now God is lost to the angels?

Why did Ellen get so pissed at Dean, slap and hug him, but practically ignore the fact that Sam did not keep in touch either? Was it because she had more of a relationship with Dean before Sam hoped back up on the hunting horse? I can’t remember it’s been so long since we’ve seen Jo and Ellen.

Dean and Sam broke up I thought there would be more tears. Hopefully this is the beginning of the healing process because the world needs Sam and Dean on the same page. Maybe Sam can locate God.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno… Errr… The Jay Leno Show

Even though I normally just “discuss” shows on the blog this time I’m going to review one. However, I must pass along a little disclaimer before I do so, which is; I did not bother to actually watch “The Jay Leno Show” before deciding to review it. I know that is entirely not fair and journalistically lethargic but my B.A. is in History so I plan on reviewing “The Jay Leno Show” from a historical prospective, not a journalistic one.

This show, if successful, represents the death knell of quality network television. I know some of you out there (in blog land) feel as though network television died a while ago, while I don’t have time to argue that point sufficiently in this space, Lost, Supernatural, How I Met Your Mother, and 30 Rock really are argument enough against that point.

Why is Leno on the air?

He was booted from the “Tonight Show” and this surely bruised his ego a bit (I know my feelings would be hurt). Once his “Tonight Show” run ended, ABC and FOX most likely tried to recruit him for an 11:30 show on their networks to go head to head with Conan and Letterman (remember Leno was winning the night right up till the day he was forcibly retired). At this point NBC got nervous and did not want to see the heir apparent get his butt handed to him five nights a week by the guy they pushed out of the spotlight.

Why is Leno on the air?

NBC was twitchy about late night but really that has been their one bright spot. The peacock hasn’t had a bona fide hit in a while. The best stuff they have is their comedy block which is critically loved (30 Rock and the Office) but still not pulling Friends, Seinfeld, or Cheers numbers. Heroes provided a glimmer of hope for approximately one season when it was a critical and commercial triumph but seasons two and three slowly bled than proceeded to hemorrhage both critical and viewer support.

Why is Leno on the air?

Good television is expensive. The new Leno show will cost approximately 20% of what NBC spends on scripted television like Chuck, Law and Order: SVU, or the sadly canceled Kings (I got that 20% number off a Slate.com podcast). This then makes this show uber easy to turn a profit on. If they get Leno to pull 50% of the audience a canceled show was pulling they are easily in the black (I got that 50% number out of thin air but it makes sense in my brain).

Why is Leno on the air?

Jay Leno exists because NBC gave up.

So my review of “The Jay Leno Show” is simple. This show is terrible please don’t watch it and tell your friends not to watch it either. Kick NBC in pants for taking the easy way out. If NBC wants shows to make a profit tell them to… actually just tell them to hire me as a consultant.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Supernatural: Sympathy for the Devil

I really enjoyed this episode. Quite honestly I enjoy any episode that includes the Prophet Chuck (no relation to Chuck Bartowski), Bobby, and Cas. I also enjoyed the crazy fan of Chuck’s that he used to smuggle a message to Sam and Dean. When she told Chuck how impressed she was when he introduced the angel storyline because the demon thing was getting old, my faith in this series reaffirmed (not that it needed to be).

Cas was dead and has now risen, which is extra tricky considering he was splattered all over the prophet Chucks home. Cas did everything but flat out say it was God that brought him back. It follows then that God was the one who flashed them away from Lucifer and onto that plane.

I’ve got to be honest, I’ve been through a lot of apocalypses (Buffy/Angel) but this is the first one that I can remember that actually has Lucifer and God both actually bothering to show up. Now that Lucifer has possessed Jacob (Mark Pelligrino from Lost) it really only is a matter of time before God picks his “human condom” (Dean’s choice of words not mine). Of course it possible that God is incapable or unwilling to directly interfere with the events of mortals. The last time Lucifer led an army it was the Archangel Michael who defeated him, not God himself.

Bobby got possessed and lost two cool points but then overpowered his possessor and stabbed himself to save Dean gaining 20 cool points. Too bad that’ll most likely take him out of the fray for the rest of the season (at least he’s not dead). I do really appreciate Bobby being able to forgive Sam so easily for ending the world it feels right.

I love that demons can posses anyone without permission but angels have to ask and be granted permission to posses. I love that Lucifer must be given permission and I love that Lucifer states that he never lies because he doesn’t have to.

I was less impressed with the way Meg was brought back. That’s the downside of demons being able to acquire anybodies body; it was much less impactful to see her in this new form than it would have been if the original actress was playing her. But it makes sense within the show reality so I deal.

I really hope that the CW lets this season be the end of Supernatural. I hate to see a good show end its run but Supernatural has become better and better every season and I think whether or not it continues season 5 will be the apex of the series creatively speaking.

Looks like we are going to see some more familiar faces next week, let’s hope they don’t bring them back to kill them off!

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Glee: Showmance

I decided to give “Glee” a prime series recording spot on my DVR for the Fall 2009 TV draft http://bit.ly/SJlsZ but it was not a decision I came to lightly. In fact, when I first heard the pitch for this show “High School Musical meets American Idol meets Freaks and Geeks” I thought, one out of three isn’t good (I’ll give you one guess as to which of those three franchises I like). However, the buzz that built for this show, from critics I respect, was very impressive and I decided to give it a shot.

I am mostly glad I did. Glee had some very fun moments which had me laughing so hard that I scared my dog. The Glee club performing the Salt N’ Pepper song was funny but the audience reactions to the presentation were inspired. In fact, most of the interactions between members of the Glee club were pretty humorous.

The adult characters at this point in the show are very well realized. The guidance counselor cleaning her grapes with antibacterial wipes was a scene that while funny was also true to life (who hasn’t thought, “how many people touched this stuff and I have to get it clean with just water”). The gym teacher was terrifically sneaky in his brief snooping moment and then slightly sardonic when proposing his date to the guidance counselor. The principal feels like someone who has been out of the classroom too long and forgot what education is actually about. The “Cheerios” coach is the only real caricature in the show but she brings humor to most of her scenes so that is forgiven.

Oddly enough my main problem with Glee was the singing (the irony is not lost on me). Actually it may have had more to do with the song choices and presentation. “Take a Bow” was not an appropriate song choice for Rachel at the end of the episode because she was the one Finn was cheating with. Also, the Kanye West song seemed off, like there was simply no way those actors could be singing like that (I mean the acoustics in that room shouldn’t allow it). I’d like to hear them singing a little more roughly especially in the scenes where they are practicing a song for the first time.

In any event, I’m definitely on board for a few more episodes and hopefully the rest of the season.

Friday, September 11, 2009

The Vampire Diaries: Pilot

There were a lot of familiar beats hit with this mostly uninspired pilot episode. The opening scene where the vampire gets hit by a car then proceeds to eat the people who thought they killed him, for example, has been done to death (literally). By the time “Vampire Diaries” had our protagonist vampire strolling through the high school campus in broad daylight it completely lost my interest.

Thankfully they explained away the fact that a vampire can walk around in broad daylight with a special ring which grants him this power. At the very least all vampires aren’t allowed to get a sun tan.

At least “Angel” found and destroyed the ring that let vampires walk around in the sun in the span of one episode.

It’s nice to see Boone get a steady gig again on television, though the CW is still a far cry from ABC.

It’s probably a terrible indicator for Vampire Diaries that after viewing the show not 4 hours ago the most interesting things about this show that I can think of have to do with an old episodes of Angel and Lost…

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Fall TV Draft

I was sitting around contemplating the end of summer, reflecting on what I had done and what I had failed to accomplish when I realized that the summer was really truly over. This made me weep openly.

I realized that it was time to do the one thing that cheers me up at the end of every summer. Initiate the “Fall 2009 TV Draft”! Every fall I do a little research as to what shows will return/premiere and then decide what shows will make the cut into my weekly television habit. This season the research was expedited by tv.ign.com and their excellent “Fall TV Preview”, if you are looking forward to something that didn’t make my cut feel free to check them out for the less interesting fare.

This year the draft surprised me because I had no idea how excited I was about “V” until I set my series priority. On the flip side, I was flabbergasted to see how far down the list Heroes was in comparison to previous years. The other issue that came up was Thursday overload. Ten of my seventeen drafted series air on Thursday nights which makes for a DVR/Tivo/Hulu/Netflix scheduling mess.

I know 17 shows seem like a lot to start the season and in truth it actually is a bit of a DVR full. But through cancelations, bad writing, series priority, and smart time shifting this list will become extremely manageable. I have drafted five series premiers this season and if history teaches us anything at least 3 of them won’t be back next season. For example, ABC could drop FlashForward after one episode if they don’t pull the right numbers on Thursday night after all the promotion they have done for it this summer. FOX bringing Dollhouse back for any episodes surprised me so if their numbers sink at all I think they are goners as well.

Supernatural and Fringe should be safe for this season and I am hopeful they have extremely strong ones. However, even Fringe was on the bubble to return this season as their numbers dropped significantly over the course of last year and the storyline involving multiple dimensions is one that is bound to make the network nervous. Thankfully Supernatural airs on the pathetic CW network and any show that scores better than static will at least get to finish its season.

If a show falls in the priority 11-17 range I am not opposed to catching up on DVD or Hulu (It’s Always Sunny), my wife makes me watch (Private Practice), or I have been so disappointed by this show in the past but for some reason can’t let it go (Heroes).

Oddly enough, the show I am most excited about this season is one I have heard the least about and does not premiere until turkey month. “V” is an “alien visitors come to Earth in peace… or do they” series that has a lot of interesting writers, producers, and actors involved. Talent has been recruited for “V” from such notable shows as Lost, Alias, Angel, Chuck, and The 4400 which is enough to make this guy watch. Also, let’s face it, I am a sucker for shows about aliens, shows about conspiracies, and shows that claim they want to be the spiritual successor to Lost.

Finally the show by which I plan on measuring all others, Lost does not even get back on until the spring TV season. Caprica and Chuck are two others I am looking forward to that are not listed here because they won’t be on for many months.


Series Premiere TimeslotNetworkPriorityDay
V11.3.098pmABC1Tuesday
Supernatural9.10.099pmCW2Thursday
Dollhouse9.25.099pmFOX4Thursday
Fringe9.17.099pmFOX4Thursday
FlashFoward9.24.098pmABC5Thursday
Glee9.09.099pmFOX6Wednesday
How I Met Your Mother9.21.098pmCBS7Monday
30 Rock10.15.099:30pmNBC8Thursday
The Office9.17.099:00pmNBC9Thursday
House 9.21.09 8pmFOX10Monday
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia9.17.0910pmFX11Thursday
Community9.17.099:30pmNBC12Thursday
Survivor9.17.098pmCBS13Thursday
Stargate Universe10.02.099pmSyfy14Friday
Heroes9.21.098pmNBC15Monday
Grey’s Anatomy9.24.099pmABC16Thursday
Private Practice 10.01.0910pmABC17Thursday

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Guild'ed

I realize I’m going to lose 75% of the people reading this once they read my next sentence, so thank YOU for reading on anyway (yea I have some stats on the number of people who visit the blog and it’s pretty much just you). I am really enjoying an internet distributed micro-TV show about a group of people who play a massively multiplayer online role playing game (MMORPG).

Seriously, it’s called “The Guild” and it is funny. The series basically starts when Zaboo (his in game name) shows up on the doorstep of his fellow player’s apartment; she goes by the name Codex. They’ve never met in real life (IRL) but Zaboo appears with flowers, professes his love for Codex, and opens his laptop to join the game again. This prompts Codex to call for a guild (the group of people she regularly games online with) meeting IRL. That is where the real charm of this series shines through; watching the members of the guild deal with the real world and their real selves rather than the online avatars they’ve been hiding behind.

This show is not a major time commitment as most of the episodes run about 5 or 6 minutes. Therefore I think you owe it to yourself to check out the first episode at the very least. The humor on this web series really is on par with that of the best that television has to offer. While the characters in “The Guild” are all obvious caricatures of real people they all fun and endearing in their own special way.

There are a variety of ways you can view this web series. The easiest thing to do is go http://bit.ly/PEIXp where you can find all the episodes in seasons 1 and 2 streaming for free. If you feel that going to “The Guild’s” official website is too much of a commitment and would simply like to dip your toe into this quirky universe you can head over to Youtube. That way if someone notices you watching a video about people who play MMORPG’s you can simply explain that you meant to watch a video of a cat on a skateboard but this popped up instead, and you are too lazy to click off it. The third way to get this show and the only way to get season 3 episodes at this point is to download them via the XBOX 360. XBOX financed season 3 and therefore gets first dibs on distribution but these episodes will eventually find their way to the other outlets as well.

Now's a good time to watch with most comedies still in reruns for the next few weeks!

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FlashForward Posts

Whoot Watch Posts