Whoot Watch: Dr. Seuss is a Genius

The wife and I were lucky enough to have the niece and nephew over for the day again so I figured it was about time to file another report. First off, before they got here, Johnny and Jordan’s mom told them they were coming over and Johnny’s response was “can we go now?” When his mom explained that they were coming over in about two hours, Jordan screamed “Now, now, now! (While I’m not entirely sure that dialog is 100% accurate I like to believe it is).

Anyway, the kids got here at 2:30 and we decided it was best to take them to the park right away. This was good considering the second Johnny walked in the door he said, “Can we go to the park?” I replied, “Of course we can go to the park, as soon as mom sets off”. Johnny ran over to his mother and said “goodbye mom” (she wasn’t ready to go for another 20 minutes or so and he was pissed).

Once mom left we took the kids and the dog to the park (we aren’t allowed to go without Benji). I had planned on keeping Benji on his leash while walking him around playground but Johnny informed me that I was supposed to tie Benji to the bench. I immediately tied him to the bench (4 year olds have a very specific sense of protocol). Johnny then started to chase me around the playground which was a lot of fun because while I’m not faster than many people I can still outrun my nephew. Until of course I realized that he has much more wind than I do.

After my lungs damn near gave out I stopped running, Johnny caught me, wound up, and punched me about six inches below the belt. That, as you can imagine, led to a lot of tears (on my part) and a brief conversation about Superman and kryptonite. The talk would have gone on longer if Johnny could get past the fact a rock from outer space was not analogous to an extremely tender spot on my body. But his plucky logic did win the moment and I had to acquiesce.

While Johnny and I were running around the playground the wife was busy wrestling Jordan’s fingers out of her mouth for approximately 30 minutes straight (she still hasn’t grasped the concept of germs).

On the way home from the park I asked Johnny what he wanted for dinner. He said Nifty-Fifties I asked him if he had cash, and he said no. Then we went to Nifty-Fifties for dinner. During dinner Jordan asked to sit next to me, which was an honor because up to this point she was still refusing to hug me hello.

I soon found that sitting next to a two year old at a meal is not much of a meal at all. She did not want to eat a thing, enjoyed shoving half eaten fries into my face, and she has a habit of turning around and screaming in the ears of the people in the booth behind us (thankfully we were not asked to leave).

After the meal (and about 20 bucks in the Nifty-Fifties arcade) I set up the Wii for some sports with Johnny while the wife gave Jordan a bath. That all ended up being fairly uneventful other than Johnny completely kicking my ass in bowling and Jordan peeing in the tub. In about an hour’s time Jordan was sleeping like… well a baby, and Johnny was all ready for bed. I asked Johnny who he wanted to read him a story and he said; “I want Aunt Kimmy and Uncle Steve both to read me a story, but Uncle Steve should go last because he’s much better” (I had given him a movie to borrow about 3 minutes earlier).

After informing Johnny of the places he’d go I said, “Goodnight” and he was out cold. Dr. Seuss is a genius.