I was sitting on my couch this morning, baby on my lap, watching the “Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear” and having a fantastic time. The baby was happy, daddy was happy, and mommy was happy. Things were great until my lovely wife asked me if she could feed our wonderful child. I passed her the little bundle of joy and saw my wife’s expression changed from contentment to confusion.
“Why is the baby wet?” she asked me. “She can’t be wet”, I responded, “I’m not wet”. She gave me the once over and laughed, “Yeah you are you big dope!” My shorts were soaked, my shirt was soaked, and if I was wearing socks they would have been soaked as well. Rather than attend to myself I did the noble thing and unwrapped my soggy child.
I unbuttoned her outfit and noticed that the moisture did not smell like baby pee. I unfastened her undershirt and the smell of poop quaffed into my unprotected nose. I stripped my child down to her diaper and saw streaks of feces running up and down her tiny little body and when I removed the diaper I turned to my wife and “tagged” out. In the process of switching clean up crew captains my spirited child reached down to her waist and retrieved a handful of baby mud. My wife then rationally explained (she reads the blog) that it would take the two of us to deal with the unbelievably messy situation.
I feel as though I have done lot of complaining on the challenges encountered in my fatherhood experience thus far so I would like to change the pace a bit. In fact, things progressed significantly better from that point forward. After we removed as much of the poop as possible, considering how much of it there was, we decided it was time for an unscheduled baby bath. We ran the water and plopped her in the sink and the kid literally smiled from ear to ear.
She loves her bath time so much that I am beginning to think that she purposely saves her poop for hours on end. Therefore, by the time she has decided to unleash it upon the world the buildup is so massive that no diaper could possibly contain it therefore leading her to a bath. I know that would mean my child is some kind of poop/parent manipulating prodigy but I firmly and proudly believe it is possible.
If it seems odd to use the word “proudly” when describing my daughters bowel movement, consider all the other peculiar accomplishments we as parents ascribe to our littlest babies. We cheer for their burps and farts because they were able to move air out of their tiny gastrointestinal systems. We call our own parents and brag when our little ones sleep uninterrupted for more than 20 minutes. We wax poetic about how brilliant they are when they focus their eyes on a person or object. We count the seconds they are able to hold their heads up without assistance and then tweet their record times for the world to see (maybe that last one is just me).
The stars truly seem to align when my child looks directly at me and smiles. That moment is quite possibly the best feeling in the world and one I truly cherish every time my little girl makes it happen.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
The Event: Loyalty
While this episode was not perfect it finally accomplished one important goal that all television shows aspire to: I finally care about one of the characters. To be fair I doubt all television shows write at the center of their story bibles, “Make the author of Sensyden’s Sounding Board care about our characters”, but I would like think television would be better if they did! Simon is interesting and I must admit I am a sucker for the undying lover at the bedside of his elderly companion I thought it was done well in this episode.
Speaking of this episode it would seem that Simon’s loyalties are with “his” people but also to the people of this world. He is a good man even if he is 1% genetically different than the rest of the men on this planet. He went back for the faceless FBI agent and radioed frantically for everyone to evacuate the building. However, Simon will always be loyal to the people he landed with in Alaska. The series would be a bit boring if he simply came out and gave away all the secrets of his people when the next episode airs. I do think he is going to have a few interesting conversations with the agent he graduated the academy with and that should make for good TV!
The Sean and Layla stuff feels like an entirely different series which is of inferior quality to the rest of the show. Between last weeks shootout and this weeks introduction of the “former journalist who’s been discredited because she got too close to the truth and happens to be a bit crazy from the life experiences she has had since her fall” I feel like their story is just one poorly done cliche. Even Sean’s desire to hide Layla followed by her insistence on staying in the fight could be seen coming from a mile away.
According to Simon, where he comes from “has no water”. Is that literal or do they simply not have large bodies of water? Have they completely tamed the planet and stripped it for parts? If that is true why would Thomas want to return so badly?
I had guessed that Thomas and Sophia were in a relationship and their reunion did nothing to prove or deny that assumption. Sophia was genuinely happy to see him if a little disappointed about the circumstances. Though for all her talk she was willing to escape with him down into the spider hole.
On an unrelated story note, I was thrilled that Simon did not get away with his impressive plan to dose unsuspecting civilians with the radioactive isotope. While is was great thinking on his part it would simply be too convenient for it to work and for him to keep his cover.
Speaking of this episode it would seem that Simon’s loyalties are with “his” people but also to the people of this world. He is a good man even if he is 1% genetically different than the rest of the men on this planet. He went back for the faceless FBI agent and radioed frantically for everyone to evacuate the building. However, Simon will always be loyal to the people he landed with in Alaska. The series would be a bit boring if he simply came out and gave away all the secrets of his people when the next episode airs. I do think he is going to have a few interesting conversations with the agent he graduated the academy with and that should make for good TV!
The Sean and Layla stuff feels like an entirely different series which is of inferior quality to the rest of the show. Between last weeks shootout and this weeks introduction of the “former journalist who’s been discredited because she got too close to the truth and happens to be a bit crazy from the life experiences she has had since her fall” I feel like their story is just one poorly done cliche. Even Sean’s desire to hide Layla followed by her insistence on staying in the fight could be seen coming from a mile away.
According to Simon, where he comes from “has no water”. Is that literal or do they simply not have large bodies of water? Have they completely tamed the planet and stripped it for parts? If that is true why would Thomas want to return so badly?
I had guessed that Thomas and Sophia were in a relationship and their reunion did nothing to prove or deny that assumption. Sophia was genuinely happy to see him if a little disappointed about the circumstances. Though for all her talk she was willing to escape with him down into the spider hole.
On an unrelated story note, I was thrilled that Simon did not get away with his impressive plan to dose unsuspecting civilians with the radioactive isotope. While is was great thinking on his part it would simply be too convenient for it to work and for him to keep his cover.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Thoughts on Fatherhood 4
I really should not complain about my recent lack of sleep. People who know me well can tell you that I have been banking excess sleep for approximately 28 years. Parents of children who had colic or were constantly agitated from age zero through two have a lot more valid issues to lament. For the most part, my child has been wonderful and simply prefers sleeping during the day to the night.
However, a few nights ago my child went away and was replaced by an alien sent to planet earth to perform sleep deprivation exercises on new human parents. She was fed, clean, gas free, and screamed until her tiny little head turned the color of a turnip. I guess sometimes babies are uncomfortable for the sake of being uncomfortable but the intensity of her discomfort was simply unbearable for my wife and I. After repeated attempts to feed, burp, and clean failed I searched my sleep deprived shadow of a brain for sleepless baby remedies that family and friends had offered up upon hearing we were having a child.
The first fix I remembered involved placing the baby on the dryer. Apparently the warmth and rhythmic noise does wonders for angst ridden babies. I grabbed the little screamer off my wife’s chest, picked up her car seat on my way down the steps, and made a beeline for the dryer. My child was obviously confused because as I strapped her into the car seat she stopped crying for the first time in what seem like days. Emboldened by the unexpected success I placed her on top of the dryer and spun it on.
Unfortunately, the baby was roused by the laundry room while I was quickly drifting into dream land. After I picked myself up of the floor I realized this was not a sustainable plan. Even though she was happy, I figured she would cry uncontrollably if her slick seat bottom slid off the dryer while daddy was counting sheep.
As I lumbered back up the stairs the baby immediately started to scream. I began to think about the properties that made the laundry room a viable sleeping place for my child and searched for a safer, simpler, analog. I passed the throne room and realized I what I needed was kept in there! My fussing child made it difficult but I managed to nab the hair dryer before we entered the bedroom.
The simple act of powering on the blow dryer did nothing to sooth my raging child. I was disheartened but hopeful that I could somehow crack baby code. I decided that the blow dryer was outputting a consistent rather than rhythmic sound and soon came up with a winning method. I blocked the air output from the nozzle with my pillow case and then pulled it away at half second intervals. Instantly my little girl calmed down.
My big girl however, began complaining about the intense heat being produced from overclocking the hair product. When I noticed red glow inside the machine growing brighter with every wheeze I forced upon it, it became clear that the blow dryer was not my answer either. The second I stopped, the screaming picked up without missing a beat.
Now hours into the marathon I was becoming desperate. I was begging for answers that would not come and it was then that I came up with my most ridiculous plan. I ran to the living room closet and retrieved my vacuum cleaner. I knew from my last experience that I needed to add a beat to this mechanical monster and I did just that. Tapping the hose as it sucked in air brought the baby sleep inducing noise I needed. Peace coupled with a groaning vacuumous percussion filled the air.
As did heat and about three weeks worth of dust and other household unmentionables that a sucking machine picks up in the over the course of doing business. My nose began to run, my eyes began it itch, and my throat felt as if it was about to close. Strike three!
I lay in bed, defeated, ears ringing with the sound of crazy baby noises blended with crazy electric percussion. As I was about to give into a good cry myself my exasperated wife turned to me and said, “You could try her humidifier”. “We have a humidifier”, I responded, but before I got an answer I leap from bed and raced to our child’s room. After locating the box I tore at it like a bear with a freshly caught salmon.
My groggy brain could not comprehend the photo directions, but thankfully the mechanical skills I inherited from my handy father kicked into gear and after around 20 minutes I managed to decode how the three pieces of this plastic paragon placed together. I filled it with water imagined how quickly and efficiently it would lull my child to sleep. When I returned to the bedroom what I found simply dumbfounded me, my wife and child were soundly asleep.
I climbed in bed content with the knowledge that the two most important people in the world were finally resting. Approximately 43 seconds later my alarm went off and I got dressed for work. Ironically, while the alarm finally brought the water works to my face, my girls stayed peacefully sleeping.
However, a few nights ago my child went away and was replaced by an alien sent to planet earth to perform sleep deprivation exercises on new human parents. She was fed, clean, gas free, and screamed until her tiny little head turned the color of a turnip. I guess sometimes babies are uncomfortable for the sake of being uncomfortable but the intensity of her discomfort was simply unbearable for my wife and I. After repeated attempts to feed, burp, and clean failed I searched my sleep deprived shadow of a brain for sleepless baby remedies that family and friends had offered up upon hearing we were having a child.
The first fix I remembered involved placing the baby on the dryer. Apparently the warmth and rhythmic noise does wonders for angst ridden babies. I grabbed the little screamer off my wife’s chest, picked up her car seat on my way down the steps, and made a beeline for the dryer. My child was obviously confused because as I strapped her into the car seat she stopped crying for the first time in what seem like days. Emboldened by the unexpected success I placed her on top of the dryer and spun it on.
Unfortunately, the baby was roused by the laundry room while I was quickly drifting into dream land. After I picked myself up of the floor I realized this was not a sustainable plan. Even though she was happy, I figured she would cry uncontrollably if her slick seat bottom slid off the dryer while daddy was counting sheep.
As I lumbered back up the stairs the baby immediately started to scream. I began to think about the properties that made the laundry room a viable sleeping place for my child and searched for a safer, simpler, analog. I passed the throne room and realized I what I needed was kept in there! My fussing child made it difficult but I managed to nab the hair dryer before we entered the bedroom.
The simple act of powering on the blow dryer did nothing to sooth my raging child. I was disheartened but hopeful that I could somehow crack baby code. I decided that the blow dryer was outputting a consistent rather than rhythmic sound and soon came up with a winning method. I blocked the air output from the nozzle with my pillow case and then pulled it away at half second intervals. Instantly my little girl calmed down.
My big girl however, began complaining about the intense heat being produced from overclocking the hair product. When I noticed red glow inside the machine growing brighter with every wheeze I forced upon it, it became clear that the blow dryer was not my answer either. The second I stopped, the screaming picked up without missing a beat.
Now hours into the marathon I was becoming desperate. I was begging for answers that would not come and it was then that I came up with my most ridiculous plan. I ran to the living room closet and retrieved my vacuum cleaner. I knew from my last experience that I needed to add a beat to this mechanical monster and I did just that. Tapping the hose as it sucked in air brought the baby sleep inducing noise I needed. Peace coupled with a groaning vacuumous percussion filled the air.
As did heat and about three weeks worth of dust and other household unmentionables that a sucking machine picks up in the over the course of doing business. My nose began to run, my eyes began it itch, and my throat felt as if it was about to close. Strike three!
I lay in bed, defeated, ears ringing with the sound of crazy baby noises blended with crazy electric percussion. As I was about to give into a good cry myself my exasperated wife turned to me and said, “You could try her humidifier”. “We have a humidifier”, I responded, but before I got an answer I leap from bed and raced to our child’s room. After locating the box I tore at it like a bear with a freshly caught salmon.
My groggy brain could not comprehend the photo directions, but thankfully the mechanical skills I inherited from my handy father kicked into gear and after around 20 minutes I managed to decode how the three pieces of this plastic paragon placed together. I filled it with water imagined how quickly and efficiently it would lull my child to sleep. When I returned to the bedroom what I found simply dumbfounded me, my wife and child were soundly asleep.
I climbed in bed content with the knowledge that the two most important people in the world were finally resting. Approximately 43 seconds later my alarm went off and I got dressed for work. Ironically, while the alarm finally brought the water works to my face, my girls stayed peacefully sleeping.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
The Event: Casualties of War
It is never a good thing when a series pushes its action scenes to such an absurd point that I break down in a hysterical fit of laughter. Thankfully I did not get quite there, however, I did giggle audibly as the FBI agent pulled up in front of Sean and Layla and screamed “Get in!” After learning that suddenly Vicky had a heart of gold and seeing Sean and Layla make out for 20 minutes in the middle of a gun battle, that cliche line was too much to bare with a straight face.
On the plus side I am happy that Vicky was offing the bad guys, not Sean. If he went from being super nerd to Rambo I think I would have to be done with this series.
I would be happier if President Martinez was not a obvious analog for President Obama. Martinez has a strong and opinionated wife who tempers his rougher qualities. He has rich cultural ties to a country other than the United States, in fact, I bet people are clamoring to see his birth certificate! While the Inastrongka detainee population is not a perfect correlation to Guantanamo Bay President Martinez’s desire to release them only to have political reality smack him in the face echos our national conversation loudly. As are Martinez’s character traits, according to his adversaries, of being a good yet inexperienced man with high morals who waivers when faced with a tough decision.
I believe one of the reasons “The West Wing” was such a powerful piece of fiction was because it depicted a fairly liberal president while the reality of U.S. leadership was the exact opposite. In short, if “The Event” wanted to go for true drama they should have written the role of U.S. president more George Bush and less Barack Obama. That would have seemed edgy and made for fantastic storytelling.
Maybe I have seen to much science fiction but why is no one petitioning President Martinez to study the detainees? Last time I checked, we were fairly certain they were aliens and the only really good bit of science we have about them is that they are genetically 1% different than the human population of Earth. Where is the slimy, lab coated, mouth breather with a syringe lamenting the fact that the president will not let him/her attempt their somewhat risky experiment that might scientifically answer all the president’s questions, or make the detainees heads explode.
I have read more than my fair share about the Manhattan Project and I do not remember any scientist named “Thomas” working at Los Alamos. I absolutely hate it when writers give away humanities most impressive, amazing, and horrifying accomplishments and atrocities. As if it would be better if we did not take responsibility for our own decisions as a species.
On the plus side I am happy that Vicky was offing the bad guys, not Sean. If he went from being super nerd to Rambo I think I would have to be done with this series.
I would be happier if President Martinez was not a obvious analog for President Obama. Martinez has a strong and opinionated wife who tempers his rougher qualities. He has rich cultural ties to a country other than the United States, in fact, I bet people are clamoring to see his birth certificate! While the Inastrongka detainee population is not a perfect correlation to Guantanamo Bay President Martinez’s desire to release them only to have political reality smack him in the face echos our national conversation loudly. As are Martinez’s character traits, according to his adversaries, of being a good yet inexperienced man with high morals who waivers when faced with a tough decision.
I believe one of the reasons “The West Wing” was such a powerful piece of fiction was because it depicted a fairly liberal president while the reality of U.S. leadership was the exact opposite. In short, if “The Event” wanted to go for true drama they should have written the role of U.S. president more George Bush and less Barack Obama. That would have seemed edgy and made for fantastic storytelling.
Maybe I have seen to much science fiction but why is no one petitioning President Martinez to study the detainees? Last time I checked, we were fairly certain they were aliens and the only really good bit of science we have about them is that they are genetically 1% different than the human population of Earth. Where is the slimy, lab coated, mouth breather with a syringe lamenting the fact that the president will not let him/her attempt their somewhat risky experiment that might scientifically answer all the president’s questions, or make the detainees heads explode.
I have read more than my fair share about the Manhattan Project and I do not remember any scientist named “Thomas” working at Los Alamos. I absolutely hate it when writers give away humanities most impressive, amazing, and horrifying accomplishments and atrocities. As if it would be better if we did not take responsibility for our own decisions as a species.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Caprica: Retribution
Sir Arthur C. Clark once said, “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.” I would like to extend the good sir’s quotation one step further and say that any sufficiently impressive magic is indistinguishable from religion. Clarice Willow is attempting to spin Zoe’s magic into an afterlife that her followers can taste, smell, touch, and truly live eternally in, at least until the Cylons destroy the servers.
This was a bloody and depressing episode of Caprica. While I usually do not turn to this show for high comedy I expect a moment or two per episode that is not the emotional equivalent of beating puppies to death with kittens. Basically an appearance from Surge in which he offered Sam and Joe a glass of fruit punch while they were trying to get Daniel to more effectively blackmail a board member would have gone a long way to ease some of the tension.
What happened to Clarice’s plural marriage? I think the man she brought with her on the killing spree was one of her husbands, but why is she living in a cabin with Amanda?
Why would Clarice not kill Lacy unless she feels that Lacy can still lead her to Zoe. Speaking of, how are they going to show us that scene at the end of last week’s episode and not give us more of Zoe the Dead Walker this week. Two minutes in New Cap City is all I ask.
Why does the entire Caprican police department think Clarice is not worth investigating? How does the one guy who is on to her become a professional pariah because his partner does not agree with him? Considering the evidence he presented to Amanda I am appalled that he is unable to get his superiors to arrest Clarice, sure it is circumstantial but it would be enough to hold a suspect on Law and Order for at least 24 hours.
I was glad to see Amanda has put together all her Clarice Willow puzzle pieces now that the Caprican police officer showed her the picture on the box. I was completely thrilled when she grabbed a gun to kill Clarice. I am willing to reserve judgment as to whether or not I care that she will be a double agent for a rouge Caprican police officer.
This episode was presented in an extremely annoying fashion. What was with the repeated scenes and dialogue? At least when the board member killed himself they placed a commercial break between the scene retreads. It was simply unbearable when Amanda was shown reflecting on the conversation she had with the officer seconds after she had it.
This was a bloody and depressing episode of Caprica. While I usually do not turn to this show for high comedy I expect a moment or two per episode that is not the emotional equivalent of beating puppies to death with kittens. Basically an appearance from Surge in which he offered Sam and Joe a glass of fruit punch while they were trying to get Daniel to more effectively blackmail a board member would have gone a long way to ease some of the tension.
What happened to Clarice’s plural marriage? I think the man she brought with her on the killing spree was one of her husbands, but why is she living in a cabin with Amanda?
Why would Clarice not kill Lacy unless she feels that Lacy can still lead her to Zoe. Speaking of, how are they going to show us that scene at the end of last week’s episode and not give us more of Zoe the Dead Walker this week. Two minutes in New Cap City is all I ask.
Why does the entire Caprican police department think Clarice is not worth investigating? How does the one guy who is on to her become a professional pariah because his partner does not agree with him? Considering the evidence he presented to Amanda I am appalled that he is unable to get his superiors to arrest Clarice, sure it is circumstantial but it would be enough to hold a suspect on Law and Order for at least 24 hours.
I was glad to see Amanda has put together all her Clarice Willow puzzle pieces now that the Caprican police officer showed her the picture on the box. I was completely thrilled when she grabbed a gun to kill Clarice. I am willing to reserve judgment as to whether or not I care that she will be a double agent for a rouge Caprican police officer.
This episode was presented in an extremely annoying fashion. What was with the repeated scenes and dialogue? At least when the board member killed himself they placed a commercial break between the scene retreads. It was simply unbearable when Amanda was shown reflecting on the conversation she had with the officer seconds after she had it.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Fringe: Do Shapeshifters Dream of Electric Sheep?
Fantastic episode of Fringe. As we get to learn more about the people and creatures from the other side it becomes clear that they are remarkably like ourselves. The shapeshifter Newton is of course the obvious exception, but he managed to lead a solitary life away from the charms of our world. Who knows how long his head was dismembered from his body before they came together at some point last season.
I find it odd that Folivia was Newton’s superior in the field. All the events that had to happen to bring him together, the fact that he was the agent that actually brought Walternate to this dimension, and that he seemed to be pulling so many strings at once made it seem like he should have been significantly more valuable to Walternate than Folivia. Yet, when Folivia handed him his, whatever passes for shapeshifter cyanide he took it with a smile on his face.
The police officer and Senator shifters were much more interesting than Newton on a character scale. Walter classified the shifters as something between human and machine but emotionally it would seem they are human. The Senator did not have to buy lemonade from those little girls, nor did he have to over pay for it, he did it because making those little girls happy brought him joy.
This was made even clearer when the officer did everything he could to make sure his family was not harmed. That boy must have been six or seven years old meaning the shifter was the nearest thing to a father he ever had. Shockingly the shifter was actually a good dad and husband, even if he saw himself as a monster.
How does Peter go from basically calling out Folivia, on being Folivia to sleeping with her by episodes end without finishing the conversation he started before Walter almost died? Actually I think the answer to my question was hidden somewhere in it. That acknowledged, it is more than a bit frustrating that Peter has not put all the pieces he has stated he has about the whereabouts of the actual Olivia together.
Two points for Folivia stating she was on the phone with Rachel. I’ll award four points to the Fringe creative team if that is how Peter finally catches Folivia as the spy she truly is. Knowing Folivia as well as I do, which is to say not entirely well, I am comfortable making an inference on her personality type. I bet she has been unwilling to make contact with Rachel since she has crossed over to this side. It would be too painful for her to see or speak with the sister she has buried in her reality.
When Peter finally gets around to talking to Rachel and realizes that she has not seen or or heard from her sister since the events of last season Peter can finally take care of business.
I find it odd that Folivia was Newton’s superior in the field. All the events that had to happen to bring him together, the fact that he was the agent that actually brought Walternate to this dimension, and that he seemed to be pulling so many strings at once made it seem like he should have been significantly more valuable to Walternate than Folivia. Yet, when Folivia handed him his, whatever passes for shapeshifter cyanide he took it with a smile on his face.
The police officer and Senator shifters were much more interesting than Newton on a character scale. Walter classified the shifters as something between human and machine but emotionally it would seem they are human. The Senator did not have to buy lemonade from those little girls, nor did he have to over pay for it, he did it because making those little girls happy brought him joy.
This was made even clearer when the officer did everything he could to make sure his family was not harmed. That boy must have been six or seven years old meaning the shifter was the nearest thing to a father he ever had. Shockingly the shifter was actually a good dad and husband, even if he saw himself as a monster.
How does Peter go from basically calling out Folivia, on being Folivia to sleeping with her by episodes end without finishing the conversation he started before Walter almost died? Actually I think the answer to my question was hidden somewhere in it. That acknowledged, it is more than a bit frustrating that Peter has not put all the pieces he has stated he has about the whereabouts of the actual Olivia together.
Two points for Folivia stating she was on the phone with Rachel. I’ll award four points to the Fringe creative team if that is how Peter finally catches Folivia as the spy she truly is. Knowing Folivia as well as I do, which is to say not entirely well, I am comfortable making an inference on her personality type. I bet she has been unwilling to make contact with Rachel since she has crossed over to this side. It would be too painful for her to see or speak with the sister she has buried in her reality.
When Peter finally gets around to talking to Rachel and realizes that she has not seen or or heard from her sister since the events of last season Peter can finally take care of business.
Thoughts on Fatherhood 3
Recently I smelled poop. Thankfully it was the baby and not the dog that did it so I began the process of changing her. Shockingly, when I opened the diaper I found no poop, yet the smell persisted. I put her back together, picked her up, and felt the all to familiar wet spot on her bottom. After inspecting the diaper once more I could locate no signs of poop or peep. It was then that I removed the diaper and found a massive poop streak on her pajamas. However, since the diaper was securely placed on her butt, I have only one explanation, magic poop.
The wife, the baby, and I went up to my hometown to welcome home my youngest brother, Rob, home from his Coast to Coast walk ( www.coasttocoastforacure.com ). We picked up my other brother, Mikey, at my parents house and drove into the center of town. It was a wonderful celebration, with a police escort, and support from the local high school, firemen, and political figures. When all was said and done lots of money was raised for the worthy causes that Rob and his friend Anthony supported as they walked from San Diego to Nutley, NJ.
At the end of the celebration, the wife and I grabbed the baby, ran to the car, and drove back to my parents house. Our child was passed around like a football and was in desperate need of a bath. It was not until I carried the baby through the threshold of the house that I realized we had completely forgotten my brother Mikey and stranded him in the center of town. He took it pretty well.
At our child’s one month pediatrician visit we were nervous because she was getting a vaccine. The wife does not do well with needles going into her and it turns out having someone puncture the skin of our little girl is significantly more painful for her. That said, as we walked into the office things were going remarkably well. The baby was quiet and happy while other children ran roughshod over the office. A pair of twins were complaining about not getting what they wanted from the toy store, an eight year old girl bullied two younger siblings, and one little boy was inexplicably tearing pages out of a magazine and sticking them in his pocket.
Our little one sat comfortably in her car seat, taking it all in. After about 15 minutes she started to squirm a little and since I wanted to hold her anyway I unbuckled her and reached in to pick her up. What I found in that seat still haunts me today.
My hand instantly felt warm and wet. I pulled it out to see what I had discovered and to my horror found that my hand was covered in poop, which uncannily resembled German mustard in both texture and color. Fighting the urge to vomit and panicking a bit as to how I should proceed, I did the only thing that came naturally to me. I stuck my mustard covered hand in my wife’s face and awaited instruction.
She screamed, “pick her up!” and I complied, then I think she vomited a little bit in her mouth. At that point, instinct finally kicked in and I ran to the family restroom, which in a pediatrician’s office is basically the only restroom. It was then that I was able to do a little triage. Her outfit, cute as it was, went in the trash as did her poop covered socks and her headband which sported some mustard colored stains after I slide her outfit over her tiny head. Then my wife and I used an entire box of baby butt wipes all over her poop smeared body. To say the least it was my most trying experience I have had as a parent yet.
Thankfully my brilliant wife packed a change of clothing for our itsy bitsy poop machine! I pulled them out of the diaper bag, got distracted when I noticed a poop slick in the baby’s armpit and promptly dropped them on the bathroom floor. Obviously I was not going to dress my semi-clean baby in bathroom floor smeared attire, thus we went with plan C. Wrap her in a blanket and hope for the best.
By the time we were called in for our visit the shot was the last thing on our minds and the baby took it with minimal fussing. I’d apologize for beginning and ending this post with a poop story, but these are the experiences that scar me enough to necessitate writing therapy!
The wife, the baby, and I went up to my hometown to welcome home my youngest brother, Rob, home from his Coast to Coast walk ( www.coasttocoastforacure.com ). We picked up my other brother, Mikey, at my parents house and drove into the center of town. It was a wonderful celebration, with a police escort, and support from the local high school, firemen, and political figures. When all was said and done lots of money was raised for the worthy causes that Rob and his friend Anthony supported as they walked from San Diego to Nutley, NJ.
At the end of the celebration, the wife and I grabbed the baby, ran to the car, and drove back to my parents house. Our child was passed around like a football and was in desperate need of a bath. It was not until I carried the baby through the threshold of the house that I realized we had completely forgotten my brother Mikey and stranded him in the center of town. He took it pretty well.
At our child’s one month pediatrician visit we were nervous because she was getting a vaccine. The wife does not do well with needles going into her and it turns out having someone puncture the skin of our little girl is significantly more painful for her. That said, as we walked into the office things were going remarkably well. The baby was quiet and happy while other children ran roughshod over the office. A pair of twins were complaining about not getting what they wanted from the toy store, an eight year old girl bullied two younger siblings, and one little boy was inexplicably tearing pages out of a magazine and sticking them in his pocket.
Our little one sat comfortably in her car seat, taking it all in. After about 15 minutes she started to squirm a little and since I wanted to hold her anyway I unbuckled her and reached in to pick her up. What I found in that seat still haunts me today.
My hand instantly felt warm and wet. I pulled it out to see what I had discovered and to my horror found that my hand was covered in poop, which uncannily resembled German mustard in both texture and color. Fighting the urge to vomit and panicking a bit as to how I should proceed, I did the only thing that came naturally to me. I stuck my mustard covered hand in my wife’s face and awaited instruction.
She screamed, “pick her up!” and I complied, then I think she vomited a little bit in her mouth. At that point, instinct finally kicked in and I ran to the family restroom, which in a pediatrician’s office is basically the only restroom. It was then that I was able to do a little triage. Her outfit, cute as it was, went in the trash as did her poop covered socks and her headband which sported some mustard colored stains after I slide her outfit over her tiny head. Then my wife and I used an entire box of baby butt wipes all over her poop smeared body. To say the least it was my most trying experience I have had as a parent yet.
Thankfully my brilliant wife packed a change of clothing for our itsy bitsy poop machine! I pulled them out of the diaper bag, got distracted when I noticed a poop slick in the baby’s armpit and promptly dropped them on the bathroom floor. Obviously I was not going to dress my semi-clean baby in bathroom floor smeared attire, thus we went with plan C. Wrap her in a blanket and hope for the best.
By the time we were called in for our visit the shot was the last thing on our minds and the baby took it with minimal fussing. I’d apologize for beginning and ending this post with a poop story, but these are the experiences that scar me enough to necessitate writing therapy!
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Caprica: Unvanquished
I know it’s been a while since the last time Caprica was on the air so I expected a little confusion going into this episode, but I must admit that I felt more than slightly lost as to how things were playing out on screen.
When we last saw Barnebus his operation was significantly disrupted by Clarice but now he is leading the brat pack version of Al Queda in a green house.
Then we have Clarice whose storyline significantly expanded the view we have gotten of the 12 Colonies thus far. Did we have any indication that an entire colony was under the control of the Church of the One? Based on the conversation between Clarice and the STO general, it would seem that Gemenon at this point in the series is governed by a monotheistic cult. This government is under threat of being toppled by the polytheistic rebels, internal strife, and weak leadership at the top. Side note, the execution at the hands of the STO was very Caesar on the floor of the Senate.
How did Amanda survive her jump off the bridge with only a broken foot? Why is she shacking up with Clarice? Was anyone else really happy when it seemed that Amanda would be dead, for good?
Zoe’s metallic body was destroyed when her truck blew up. Once the body was destroyed the chip became reprogrammable and Virgis was able to create a dumb Cylon army. Is this Cylon army being made to invade Gemenon? Why build an army if you do not plan to use it? Considering the people of Gemenon were literal believers in the pagan prophecies on the Battlestar Galactica, I’m thinking the STO might be the first victims of the Cylons.
The erasure of the chip thankfully did not kill Zoe, she managed to somehow escape into New Cap City where she is now one of two immortal beings. Tamara being the other immortal seems to have begun recruiting and branding players with her flower symbol. Zoe knows that Tamara is important, I wonder how she plans to use her.
What is up with Joseph Adama? He has completely given into his Turon mobster roots? What was the deal with the car bomb gag? He said he was trying to prove that Daniel was more humane than he was because he could not kill his own mother, but I think he was just messing with Dan. While on the subject of Turon mobsters, I would definitely have enjoyed this episode a bit more if Sam had a bigger role.
Why does Clairce think she can recreate the Zoe program? More importantly what makes her think that Zoe will help her bring eternal life to people that killed her human counterpart? I am betting that Daniel thinks he can re-create the program for the Turons because if his teenage daughter could do it, with enough time he must be able to as well.
When we last saw Barnebus his operation was significantly disrupted by Clarice but now he is leading the brat pack version of Al Queda in a green house.
Then we have Clarice whose storyline significantly expanded the view we have gotten of the 12 Colonies thus far. Did we have any indication that an entire colony was under the control of the Church of the One? Based on the conversation between Clarice and the STO general, it would seem that Gemenon at this point in the series is governed by a monotheistic cult. This government is under threat of being toppled by the polytheistic rebels, internal strife, and weak leadership at the top. Side note, the execution at the hands of the STO was very Caesar on the floor of the Senate.
How did Amanda survive her jump off the bridge with only a broken foot? Why is she shacking up with Clarice? Was anyone else really happy when it seemed that Amanda would be dead, for good?
Zoe’s metallic body was destroyed when her truck blew up. Once the body was destroyed the chip became reprogrammable and Virgis was able to create a dumb Cylon army. Is this Cylon army being made to invade Gemenon? Why build an army if you do not plan to use it? Considering the people of Gemenon were literal believers in the pagan prophecies on the Battlestar Galactica, I’m thinking the STO might be the first victims of the Cylons.
The erasure of the chip thankfully did not kill Zoe, she managed to somehow escape into New Cap City where she is now one of two immortal beings. Tamara being the other immortal seems to have begun recruiting and branding players with her flower symbol. Zoe knows that Tamara is important, I wonder how she plans to use her.
What is up with Joseph Adama? He has completely given into his Turon mobster roots? What was the deal with the car bomb gag? He said he was trying to prove that Daniel was more humane than he was because he could not kill his own mother, but I think he was just messing with Dan. While on the subject of Turon mobsters, I would definitely have enjoyed this episode a bit more if Sam had a bigger role.
Why does Clairce think she can recreate the Zoe program? More importantly what makes her think that Zoe will help her bring eternal life to people that killed her human counterpart? I am betting that Daniel thinks he can re-create the program for the Turons because if his teenage daughter could do it, with enough time he must be able to as well.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Fringe: The Plateau
This episode is a bit of a conundrum for me to grapple with. On one hand it was a straight forward self contained story with limited relevance to the overall arch of Fringe. On the other, it took place entirely in a world we are unfamiliar with. This particular world is so foreign that pens have been completed phased out of use by ubiquitous technology yet they have not come up with a vaccine for smallpox.
While the overall story, man with unique ability goes on a killing spree, could have taken place in either universe it was fun to see it unfold in Folivia’s home turf. Charlie is no dummy, he knows how how government works, and is suspicious of Olivia. Side note, it is fantastic to have him back in the fold, even if it is not the Charlie we originally grew to love. Folivia’s boyfriend/tattoo pal seems to have more invested in the relationship than she does. She left him without saying goodbye and is making out with Peter on the other side. I like Agent Lee and hope he somehow continues to be a part of the Fringe story beyond this current storyline. What is going on with Astrid in this world? Was she mentally abused or altered? She is the exact opposite of the Astrid we know. Broyles on the other hand is pretty much himself in either universe.
I guess it is time to call fumble on the Charlie episode that aired after he died. The world that episode took place in was ours, not this one.
Walternate is a bad dude. When he said, “I still am a scientist, I just have a bigger laboratory”, I believed him. He is the puppet master putting all the pieces into play, and in that respect was a lot like this episodes antagonist. Too bad William Bell did not remove half his brain matter in this universe as well. At least now we know why Walternate is attempting to turn Olivia into Folivia.
While the overall story, man with unique ability goes on a killing spree, could have taken place in either universe it was fun to see it unfold in Folivia’s home turf. Charlie is no dummy, he knows how how government works, and is suspicious of Olivia. Side note, it is fantastic to have him back in the fold, even if it is not the Charlie we originally grew to love. Folivia’s boyfriend/tattoo pal seems to have more invested in the relationship than she does. She left him without saying goodbye and is making out with Peter on the other side. I like Agent Lee and hope he somehow continues to be a part of the Fringe story beyond this current storyline. What is going on with Astrid in this world? Was she mentally abused or altered? She is the exact opposite of the Astrid we know. Broyles on the other hand is pretty much himself in either universe.
I guess it is time to call fumble on the Charlie episode that aired after he died. The world that episode took place in was ours, not this one.
Walternate is a bad dude. When he said, “I still am a scientist, I just have a bigger laboratory”, I believed him. He is the puppet master putting all the pieces into play, and in that respect was a lot like this episodes antagonist. Too bad William Bell did not remove half his brain matter in this universe as well. At least now we know why Walternate is attempting to turn Olivia into Folivia.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
The Event: Protect Them From the Truth
Sean is starting to grow on me as a character. He is hacker who turned his recreational attempt to hack the government into a legitimate career, the geek shall inherit the earth. I now understand why NBC paired this show with Chuck!
I would like to know, however, how Sean got in that trunk. The FBI car he was in exploded so that meant he would have had to have stolen an agents key less entry fob, located the car, and climbed into the trunk. That all had to be accomplished while the agent did not realize his key was stolen, otherwise there is no way Sean would have been able to release himself from the trunk at the FBI building.
It would seem to be obvious that Director Sterling is connected to the plot to assassinate the president. However, the evidence is circumstantial at best. Sterling is way too much of a red herring to be the series villain. The Vice President accused Sterling of the plot but, as an elementary student in the 1990’s would say, “he who smelt it, dealt it”. No one has more to gain from the death of a sitting President than the Vice President.
I wish I could say that I did not see the ending coming but I was thinking that the passengers were not dead last week. I understand that I would be a lot cooler if I bothered to mention that in my blog for last week’s episode. Chalk my oversight up to the fact that I have a 4 week old child and I am fortunate enough to have a wonderful wife whom attends to the child while her husband blogs about television.
The 1% seem a bit less menacing considering they did not kill a plane full of people. On the other hand they are not angels sent to save humanity from itself and obviously have an agenda. An agenda they were willing to kill one of their own to keep secret.
I would like to know, however, how Sean got in that trunk. The FBI car he was in exploded so that meant he would have had to have stolen an agents key less entry fob, located the car, and climbed into the trunk. That all had to be accomplished while the agent did not realize his key was stolen, otherwise there is no way Sean would have been able to release himself from the trunk at the FBI building.
It would seem to be obvious that Director Sterling is connected to the plot to assassinate the president. However, the evidence is circumstantial at best. Sterling is way too much of a red herring to be the series villain. The Vice President accused Sterling of the plot but, as an elementary student in the 1990’s would say, “he who smelt it, dealt it”. No one has more to gain from the death of a sitting President than the Vice President.
I wish I could say that I did not see the ending coming but I was thinking that the passengers were not dead last week. I understand that I would be a lot cooler if I bothered to mention that in my blog for last week’s episode. Chalk my oversight up to the fact that I have a 4 week old child and I am fortunate enough to have a wonderful wife whom attends to the child while her husband blogs about television.
The 1% seem a bit less menacing considering they did not kill a plane full of people. On the other hand they are not angels sent to save humanity from itself and obviously have an agenda. An agenda they were willing to kill one of their own to keep secret.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Thoughts on Fatherhood 2
I know I talked about poop in my previous “Thoughts on Fatherhood” posting but it has constantly been on my mind as of late. For instance, today she pooped and I changed her. The second I finished changing her she pooped again. After changing her a third time she made the most awful sound I had ever heard from an infants rear end. Assuming she pooped for a third time I unwrapped her only to find a remarkable lack of poop. It was at that point I swear she smiled at me and mouthed the words “got you, loser”.
People have told me, as far back I can remember, that babies cry. I really did not comprehend how true that statement was until the birth of my little girl. She cries when she is cold, she cries when she is warm, she cries when she is hungry, she cries when she is full, she cries when she poops, she cries when she pees, she cries when she farts (unless she is laughing at me), she cries when you are not pacing with her back and fourth while bouncing her head and butt at slightly differing speeds. No wonder people invented language, human expression through blood curling sobs induces untold amounts of stress.
After painstakingly attempting to keep my daughters name in-google-able I did a g-check this morning to see how it was going. Turns out my brother congratulating her on her birth at his website coasttocoastforacure.com officially broke her Google streak. Damn him and his good intentions/causes, damn him.
I have really expanded my Disney music repertoire as of late. Pandora is my friend because it makes my little girl so happy. I have even gone so far as to purchase music via iTunes, which is something I do on rare occasions (I’m more of an app guy). I knew the Lion King had spectacular music but I had no idea how much fun dancing to Lilo and Stitch’s Hawaiian music with my little girl would be.
People have told me, as far back I can remember, that babies cry. I really did not comprehend how true that statement was until the birth of my little girl. She cries when she is cold, she cries when she is warm, she cries when she is hungry, she cries when she is full, she cries when she poops, she cries when she pees, she cries when she farts (unless she is laughing at me), she cries when you are not pacing with her back and fourth while bouncing her head and butt at slightly differing speeds. No wonder people invented language, human expression through blood curling sobs induces untold amounts of stress.
After painstakingly attempting to keep my daughters name in-google-able I did a g-check this morning to see how it was going. Turns out my brother congratulating her on her birth at his website coasttocoastforacure.com officially broke her Google streak. Damn him and his good intentions/causes, damn him.
I have really expanded my Disney music repertoire as of late. Pandora is my friend because it makes my little girl so happy. I have even gone so far as to purchase music via iTunes, which is something I do on rare occasions (I’m more of an app guy). I knew the Lion King had spectacular music but I had no idea how much fun dancing to Lilo and Stitch’s Hawaiian music with my little girl would be.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Fringe: The Box
I am amazed with this show. Every episode raises ratchets up the intensity of the battle between worlds. I thought I would be bored with the Folivia story line almost immediately. It had been done previously in this series with the fake Charlie of season two and it seemed they squeezed all the drama out the doppleganger from another dimension they could.
I was wrong, however, because the fake Charlie was in fact a fake Charlie. Folivia is Olivia, just raised under different circumstances in a different world. In the great child rearing debate, Fringe seems to be throwing in for nurture. As proven when Folivia killed the deaf man with almost no remorse.
Two points for the Fringe creative forces for erasing Folivia’s tattoo. That two second scene made this storyline much more plausible. That noted, I would have liked to see how she got Peter out of that apartment without him seeing the blood seeping into the living room.
Walter is now the sole owner of Massive Dynamic, which changes things considerably. It remarkable how the depiction of that company morphed from evil empire to the most significant defender of this world over the course of this series. It’s almost as dramatic a turn as Wolfram and Heart made on Angel. Will Massive Dynamic change Walter or will Walter change Massive Dynamic? I am guessing that for now, Walter will leave Nina in charge of the day to day operations.
I would like to compliment the Fringe creative powers on creating a wonderful villain for this series. Walternate and the world he inhabits are familiar enough for us to emphasize with, different enough to serve as a cautionary tale, and fictional enough as to not offend, alienate, or smear any nationality, religion, or ethnic group. Fringe is not “us against them”, it’s “us against us”, and it makes for fantastic drama.
I was wrong, however, because the fake Charlie was in fact a fake Charlie. Folivia is Olivia, just raised under different circumstances in a different world. In the great child rearing debate, Fringe seems to be throwing in for nurture. As proven when Folivia killed the deaf man with almost no remorse.
Two points for the Fringe creative forces for erasing Folivia’s tattoo. That two second scene made this storyline much more plausible. That noted, I would have liked to see how she got Peter out of that apartment without him seeing the blood seeping into the living room.
Walter is now the sole owner of Massive Dynamic, which changes things considerably. It remarkable how the depiction of that company morphed from evil empire to the most significant defender of this world over the course of this series. It’s almost as dramatic a turn as Wolfram and Heart made on Angel. Will Massive Dynamic change Walter or will Walter change Massive Dynamic? I am guessing that for now, Walter will leave Nina in charge of the day to day operations.
I would like to compliment the Fringe creative powers on creating a wonderful villain for this series. Walternate and the world he inhabits are familiar enough for us to emphasize with, different enough to serve as a cautionary tale, and fictional enough as to not offend, alienate, or smear any nationality, religion, or ethnic group. Fringe is not “us against them”, it’s “us against us”, and it makes for fantastic drama.
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