Thoughts on Daddy 3

Someone needs to have a talk with my Daddy. I would, but as I have previously indicated, I don’t talk yet and I’m doing my best to make sure he does not read my blog. Thankfully, this talk does not need to be about me. In fact, as we round out the first two weeks of Daddy Days he seems to be adjusting nicely (though at present he has been singing a lot from the Wicked soundtrack so not everything is perfect). Someone has to talk to him about his inability to be the pack leader of Benji, Daddy, and me.

I thought I had Daddy wrapped around my finger but it seems I could learn a thing or two from our manipulative dog. Our dog spent a majority of his time downstairs when I was first born. He obviously did not know how to integrate himself into the new family unit. More importantly, I think Mommy scared him a bit so Benji kept his distance.

However, in the two weeks since Daddy’s been home the old man has ceded more and more personal space to Benji than I thought possible. For instance, once Benji realized that Daddy was the parent in the home (a reality I have recently resigned myself to) he began to hang upstairs more. However, the hardwood floor is no place for a dog to nap, so Benjamin Linus (apparently his name is a television reference I don’t get) took one of the pillows off the couch downstairs and made himself a little nest near my play mat.

Daddy’s reaction should have been, “bad Benji” and taken the pillow to put it back on the couch, at least that would have been Mommy’s reaction. Instead, Daddy’s reaction was, “aw, how cute is this dog, he wants to spend more time with us, look he doesn’t quite fit, how adorable, baby feed yourself I’m going to snap a picture and put it on Facebook”, or something to that effect. This all happened seven or eight days ago and as I type this the dog is currently on that disgusting couch cushion.

The rest of what I am about to share happened while I was “sleeping”, but I’ve been able to observe Daddy and dogie’s behavior with my daddy monitor procured from Daddy’s R Dum.com. For some reason, the dog respected me more than my Father because whenever I hang out Benji sits on his pillow and naps. Yet, when it’s just them, if Daddy attempted to recline on his comfy couch and watch TV Benjamin would get right in his face and bark repeatedly.

At first Daddy would freak out and tackle the dog because he did not want Benji to wake me. But eventually Daddy noticed that Benji’s tail would wag the whole time they were wrestling, even when he used his “stern voice”. His next approach while more effective in the short term only served to reinforce bad Benjamin behavior. Every time Benjamin would start to get a little antsy Daddy would give him a treat. If Benji remained crazy for more than a few treats Daddy would give him wet food, his favorite. After three days of this conditioning Daddy realized that Benji remained in a state of hyperactivity the entire time Mommy was at work in an attempt to earn constant treats.

Breaking that cycle took some significant effort but I think Daddy finally figured out a system which is workable, if uncomfortable. It is kind of ironic that Benji started this whole series of events by bringing a pillow onto the hardwood floor because that is now where Daddy relaxes while I sleep. Now, when Benji gets that look in his eyes Daddy climbs onto the floor and Benji is content with Daddy’s discomfort. Humorously Benji rests on his pillow while Daddy lays on the floor. I can’t make this stuff up, but I think I can claim the title of pack leader!