Literary Criticism: By a 6 Month Old

Daddy recently read me a few Winnie the Pooh books. I was very excited for this book series because I have a lot of Winnie the Pooh clothing, toys, and games. In fact, if you had asked me six days ago who my hero was, and I could verbally respond, I would have indicated Pooh Bear, hands down. However, upon actual examination I have realized that the tales of Winnie the Pooh pale in comparison to the myth of Winnie the Pooh.

Let us start with Pooh himself. I was flabbergasted to learn that Winnie the Pooh is actually a stuff bear, owned by Christopher Robin, named Edward Bear. If we ignore the fact that A. A. Milne really missed an opportunity by not originally designating him “Theodore Bear” I think we can safely say that A. A. Milne is a liar. I was under the impression that I was going to meet Pooh at some point down the line. Now when I make my way to the Magic Kingdom I’m going to know that the giant yellow bear is an impostor of a fictional character.

Even if I can ignore the fact that Pooh Bear is a figment of Milne’s mind there are significant problems with the stories I have been read. For example, Pooh is often a single minded bear that can do little more than stuff his face full of honey. When he does pull himself out of his sugar induced comas Pooh as a character does not come off as the ideal friend he is often portray as being. Pooh lies to his friends when asked sincere questions and in an effort to bring legitimacy to his fabrications he will usually add, “Christopher Robin told me”.

Christopher Robin, who I am assuming is the only real thing in these books, seems somewhat full of himself. In one instance, he led everyone, including all of Rabbit’s friends and relations, on a quest to find the North Pole. Unfortunately he had no idea where the North Pole was or even what it was so he simply claimed to his crew that Pooh found it when they came across a pole in the woods. I for one would not want to be stumping through the woods with Christopher Robin as the sole keeper of legitimate knowledge.

While on the topic of knowledge I would like to point out the lazy editing of these stories. Certain words are plagued by frequent misspelling. Honey, for instance, is spelled “Huney” as frequently as it is spelled correctly. Capitalization runs afoul of standard grammar rules as well I’m afraid. Words are capitalized without reason, in the middle of sentences, at the end, and everywhere in between.

Perhaps the most disconcerting part of the entire experience of getting to know the actual tales of Winnie the Pooh is what comes after we finish each book. Daddy feels it necessary to impart what he felt the moral of each story was to me. So far they have included; “And that is why you must remember to eat before you leave the house”, “And that is why you must never climb trees without a spotter”, “And that is why it is rarely a good idea to approach a bee hive”, “And that is why we’ve largely abandoned balloon and zeppelin travel in favor of the energy intensive airplanes”, and my personal favorite, “And that is why an umbrella must never be used as a flotation device”.

He completely missed the actual moral of each individual story and the series as a whole. In fact, the moral of Winnie the Pooh is fairly simple. Real friends will always love you despite your flaws. I would also note, in light of this whole Edward Bear debacle, Milne seemed to have indicated that imagination can turn the mundane into the memorable. Maybe there is something worthy of continued exploration in the Winnie the Pooh series after all.