A Song of Fire and Ice: I Lost a Couple of Months There

It has been a good long while since I have had a chance to post to my blog. I could say that fatherhood is the main reason for my extended absence, but I would be lying. When I heard that HBO was developing a television show based on a series of fantasy novels I knew that I would want to check it out. Unfortunately, I do not subscribe to HBO and could not justify the monthly purchase for one television series. I figured I could grab individual episodes via iTunes, however, HBO did not make Game of Thrones available for purchase there or anywhere else on the web.

In an effort to keep ahead of TV spoilers while I waited for DVD (or HBO to get wise and make individual episodes accessible online) I decided to read the book. As a bonus, I figured I could make comments to TV viewers along the lines of, “You really have not experienced GOT (a book snob has to use the acronym) until you’ve read it”. I have heard this series described as, “Lord of the Rings, for adults”. But that is not nearly accurate. This is more like Braveheart, only there are 30 main characters instead of one and also there are dragons.

The first book is especially light on the fantasy aspect of the series and much more focused on the political ins and outs of the Kingdom of Westeros. Which is to say that, for me, this series was like drinking a cup of coffee. I tolerated the less than tasteful aspects, enjoyed it more as I got used to it, and eventually came back to have another serving the next morning. Some of the literary tools which George R.R. Martin wielded in this book series drove me bonkers.

The way he constantly referred to breakfast as, “breaking his fast” or the insistence on counting age as “three and thirty” physically raised my stress level every single time on I read the words. What I hated most throughout the novels, however, was Martin’s insistence on naming every piece of clothing, every character was wearing, every time they appeared on the page. If I never read the words, “He was wearing plain mail over boiled leather”, again it would be too soon.

Yet somehow, the characters of these novels feel like they jump off the page and insert themselves into your psyche. Martin’s choice to have every chapter follow the thoughts and actions of a particular character was a stroke of genius. When characters die, and they will, their death is felt particularly painfully because the reader feels like they have gotten to know them so well. Even characters that do horrendous, unforgivable things can be emphasized with when the world is filtered through their frame of reference. On the flip side, beloved characters can take a sinister turn and become irredeemable in the eyes of the reader.

When we do not get to hear from particular characters for hundreds of pages their absence is felt. Some times I found myself skipping ahead to the next chapter just to see if I was going to finally get to spend some more time in a certain characters head, especially early in the series while drudging through the Sansa chapters.

To make a long odyssey shorter I summarize with this; I read the first four novels in this series in less than a month and a half and only stopped to post these thoughts because the fifth book does not come out for another 20 days or so. I am sure the HBO series is excellent, but I can say for a fact that these books are fantastic (most of the time)!

Baby Thoughts 2

My parents have gone to considerable lengths to make sure no germ ever touches my pristine skin. It is fairly easy to stymie their efforts because I am currently at the point in my physical development where I threaten to crawl any time I am placed on a moderately flat surface. On a side note, learning to pop my butt in the air and wiggle my feet has been a fair amount of fun for me. However, my parents reaction to my burgeoning mobility is the real treat.

If I moved off the little towel my Mother perfectly placed on the floor, Father would snatch me right off the ground. Then Mommy would say something about Benji dragging feces all over the house. Eventually the towel turned into a bed, but whenever I would move a tad Daddy would snatch me. Then Mommy would say something about bumping my head. Next we tried a mat but that still was not big enough and it was quickly covered by a giant sheet. Of course the sheet was not a perfect fix either because I would roll off it or Benjamin would walk on it and both of those scenarios would illicit a hysterical reaction from both parents.

One day I rolled off my designated spot, reached for (than chewed on) one of Benji’s toys. A heartbeat later, Mommy picked me up, handed Daddy his keys and said, “Don’t come home until you’ve hired someone to install a new rug in this room! While I was excited about the prospect of a new rug, I did not see how it would help Benji proof my life. I thought he might take a bath every time he came into the house now because he did not want to spoil the new rug, but quickly realized that did not seem practical because Benjamin does not like water.

Minutes after the new rug was installed, Daddy made a big joke about how we could build a Benji funnel out of couches, my toys and a baby gate. At least it was a joke to him, Mommy was not laughing. From this point on Benjamin would come in and out his normal entrance, however, we would cut him off at the den by sliding the couch into the center of the room and making a Benji sized run. Mommy would then place a baby gate between the arm of the couch and the small opening at the far side of the room, effectively creating a Benji free zone in the center.

The “Benji Funnel” as Daddy calls it took a few minutes to create but it has provided hours of entertainment for me! I get free range of a massive (massive is a relative term, as I am a foot and a half tall) room and infrequently get pulled off my chosen path due to a germ concern. More amusing than my personal fun, however, is the fun I have at the expense of my parents.

Daddy is too short to walk over the baby gate and had resorted to doing a ridiculous rolling maneuver over the arm of the couch the first few times he went through. Mommy (who is no giant herself) simply stopped going to the office, laundry room, garage, and basement which are the rooms at the end of the funnel. Eventually Daddy realized that his roll was a bit over the top (see what I did just there) so he attempted to walk over the couch. Unfortunately, the arm made a terrible groaning noise when he had all his weight on it so he had to abandon that strategy as well. Mommy began ordering Daddy to fetch whatever it was she needed from the basement which only doubled his trips through the funnel.

Finally, Daddy dealt with the funnel in the same way Benji does. He now goes the long way around, hugging the wall as he walks because the run is only designed for our dog and is not wide enough for him to walk normally through. Sometimes I get a real treat when both Benji and Daddy are attempting to go through the funnel in opposite directions, usually Daddy backs down first because Benji is stubborn!

The best part about this whole situation is that the gate itself is not even wedged in place. Daddy could move and replace the gate in less than 10 seconds but I guess Benji is not the only one in the house who is stubborn!

Baby Thoughts

OK, what just happened? For five days in a row I have been on my own! Well, not on my own but for the last five days there has been no Daddy when I wake up. He has been there every day I can remember except for the days that Mommy was there to wake me up. Now it is all sorts of people, almost like a “this is your life” scenario.

Monday I was shocked when I woke up because my best friend Jojo was in my crib with me, just sitting there staring at me, sucking her passie! At first I thought I was dreaming but it turned out that Jojo and her mommy were going to spend the day with me while Daddy did something called “work”. Apparently this is where Mommy goes when she is not home also.

I guess it was not too bad as Jojo and I had a good time while Mommy and Daddy hung out without me. At least we were having a good time until she had too much to drink and puked all over my play mat! Then it was on like a baby toy suctioned onto a high chair tray! I did a triple roll belly-back-belly and whacked her across the face with an open palm slap and then I rolled over her for good measure. I thought Jojo’s Mommy might be upset but she just filmed the whole thing on her iPhone and then posted it to the internet.

Everything eventually blew over though when Jojo let me finish her pears at lunch time! I was hungry and she was not so it all worked out. Eventually Mommy came home and then about an hour later Daddy came home too. I found this odd because I figured they would drive to work together.

Tuesday I awoke to Aunt Tete. She said, a lot of words that I did not understand and read me a story off her computer that sounded an awful lot like a physics essay. I really love my Aunt Tete but when she laughs it scares the bejeezes out of me! It is loud and usually I do not see it coming! On the plus side, I was relieved that Aunt Tete did not vomit on my play mat because I’d have hard time steam rolling over her! Again Mommy got home about an hour before Daddy, you’d think that gas prices would get them to drive the same car.

Wednesday was Mommy and me day! It was awesome just spending time with her, but made even better because she took me to the eye doctors. I have perfect vision! Actually they did not test me, I am not sure why I lied, I hope I am not a pathological liar! It was a fun trip though because Mommy’s eye doctor lives in the mall so I got to watch Mommy eat a pretzel while I sat there and drooled!

To my surprise shortly after Daddy got home my Great Aunt Rayni came over. Then she made Daddy and Mommy a gourmet dinner while I ate sweet potatoes without marshmallows! Aunt Rayni was still hanging out with Mommy and Daddy when I went to bed so I was not completely shocked when I awoke to her smiling face the next two mornings. Rayni wears big jewelry so I had a blast trying to grab her necklace and pull out her earrings! I also enjoyed making movies and sending pictures to everyone in Great Aunt Rayni’s cell phone.

While this was an odd week, I think it might be the new normal. What is normal anyway? I doubt a 7 month old baby blogging on the internet from her iPod (I don’t need an iPad my hands are tiny) touch would be considered normal.

Benjamin Linus: An Apt Moniker

This story begins almost three years ago. About a year after the wife and I purchased our home we adopted a dog. We named him Benjamin Linus after the troubled character from the TV show Lost because he had one blue eye and one brown eye which made him seem a bit nefarious. The name turned out to be a bit prophetic because like the character Benji would spend weeks earning our trust with magnificent behavior only to turn on us when we would least expect it. He has mangled two pairs of my wife’s Uggs, gnawed on couch legs and cushions, stolen countless articles of clothing, and never met a dog bed he could resist eating.

About six months into our adoption of Benji he decided to up the destruction and chewed through the rug in the office and a giant chunk of molding around the office door. I fixed the molding with some putty and decided to simply cover the rug because I anticipated future attacks. Two and a half years later while a lot has change we have not had a recurrence of rug abuse. Our child is approaching the crawling stage so we decided it would be nice to replace our old chewed up rug in favor of something newer and cleaner.

We contracted Home Depot to install new carpets because they advertised a 72 hour installation process. That has turned out to be a bit of a lie because the clock does not start from the time you hire them to do the job. First you pay 35 bucks, then they send someone to your house to measure, then they waste two days, then they send you an email, then you pay a majority of the cost, then you wait a few days until they call you at their convenience to schedule an installation three days from the phone call you are currently having. While that is not the point of this post, I have found it more than a tad bit annoying.

Also, Home Depot recommends you remove the old rug yourself because for them to remove it would be a substantial additional cost, (there words, not mine). Therefore, today in anticipation of my new rug I began to remove the old one from Benji’s room, also known as the office. The rug is going in the office and den and the two rooms are separated by a pocket door. In an effort to properly ventilate the room while I worked, I opened all the doors and windows to and from the office which included the back and garage doors. I then closed the pocket door to keep Benjamin locked inside the house proper.

When I finished my job, I sent Benjamin into the backyard (so he would not destroy the house) and then attempted a quick shower. Mid-shampoo I realized my stupendous error. I had left the doors propped open to continue airing out my workspace! My insane dog could be chewing on anything or anyone in my neighborhood as I had been in the shower at least five minutes before realizing my folly.

I bolted from the shower, slipped on the slick tile floor and gracefully (if you can call falling out of the shower graceful) bounced back up on my feet into the hanger with my towel on it. I wrapped the towel around myself and ran through my house like a crazed person. I banged on the back door in a vain attempt to locate my long gone dog. I ran into the office, doors open as I had feared and found no signs of Benjamin Linus. I went into my garage, looked out the gigantic opening where Benjamin must have sauntered off, still dripping wet, and did not locate my dog.

I rushed through the house and over to my front door in an attempt to get a better view of my street. I flung the door open and to my shock found Benjamin Linus napping on lawn five feet from where I stood. Immediately, I was of two minds. One was relief that my dog had not run off, but the other was a vision of me chasing Benji around my front yard in a towel (the stuff of nightmares). Before I could reconcile my two thoughts I opened the door and told Benji to come into the house, amazingly, he stood up, stretched, and casually walked inside.

The other amazing aspect of this story has to do with my little girl. She managed to nap through the entire experience of rug removal, my quicker than quick shower, me running through the house like a mad man, and Benjamin returning home (though technically he never left). I dried off, put on some clothes and sat on the couch to reflect upon my stupidity when through the front window I saw a woman walking a gigantic dog. Benji saw them too and ran around the house like a hound possessed barking like he wanted to eat the world. This of course promptly roused my child who began sobbing.

Now more than ever I am sure Benjamin Linus is the most aptly named dog in the history of canine domestication.

Literary Criticism: By a 6 Month Old

Daddy recently read me a few Winnie the Pooh books. I was very excited for this book series because I have a lot of Winnie the Pooh clothing, toys, and games. In fact, if you had asked me six days ago who my hero was, and I could verbally respond, I would have indicated Pooh Bear, hands down. However, upon actual examination I have realized that the tales of Winnie the Pooh pale in comparison to the myth of Winnie the Pooh.

Let us start with Pooh himself. I was flabbergasted to learn that Winnie the Pooh is actually a stuff bear, owned by Christopher Robin, named Edward Bear. If we ignore the fact that A. A. Milne really missed an opportunity by not originally designating him “Theodore Bear” I think we can safely say that A. A. Milne is a liar. I was under the impression that I was going to meet Pooh at some point down the line. Now when I make my way to the Magic Kingdom I’m going to know that the giant yellow bear is an impostor of a fictional character.

Even if I can ignore the fact that Pooh Bear is a figment of Milne’s mind there are significant problems with the stories I have been read. For example, Pooh is often a single minded bear that can do little more than stuff his face full of honey. When he does pull himself out of his sugar induced comas Pooh as a character does not come off as the ideal friend he is often portray as being. Pooh lies to his friends when asked sincere questions and in an effort to bring legitimacy to his fabrications he will usually add, “Christopher Robin told me”.

Christopher Robin, who I am assuming is the only real thing in these books, seems somewhat full of himself. In one instance, he led everyone, including all of Rabbit’s friends and relations, on a quest to find the North Pole. Unfortunately he had no idea where the North Pole was or even what it was so he simply claimed to his crew that Pooh found it when they came across a pole in the woods. I for one would not want to be stumping through the woods with Christopher Robin as the sole keeper of legitimate knowledge.

While on the topic of knowledge I would like to point out the lazy editing of these stories. Certain words are plagued by frequent misspelling. Honey, for instance, is spelled “Huney” as frequently as it is spelled correctly. Capitalization runs afoul of standard grammar rules as well I’m afraid. Words are capitalized without reason, in the middle of sentences, at the end, and everywhere in between.

Perhaps the most disconcerting part of the entire experience of getting to know the actual tales of Winnie the Pooh is what comes after we finish each book. Daddy feels it necessary to impart what he felt the moral of each story was to me. So far they have included; “And that is why you must remember to eat before you leave the house”, “And that is why you must never climb trees without a spotter”, “And that is why it is rarely a good idea to approach a bee hive”, “And that is why we’ve largely abandoned balloon and zeppelin travel in favor of the energy intensive airplanes”, and my personal favorite, “And that is why an umbrella must never be used as a flotation device”.

He completely missed the actual moral of each individual story and the series as a whole. In fact, the moral of Winnie the Pooh is fairly simple. Real friends will always love you despite your flaws. I would also note, in light of this whole Edward Bear debacle, Milne seemed to have indicated that imagination can turn the mundane into the memorable. Maybe there is something worthy of continued exploration in the Winnie the Pooh series after all.

Thoughts on Daddy 5

We are more than three quarters of the way through Daddy’s paternity leave and I have not had a decent story to write about in a long time. Since I was hoping to get CBS to purchase my musings like they did with a couple Twitter feeds last year I needed to start pulling strings in order to throw Daddy slightly off balance. When my best friend asked me to go to the Baby Gym I knew I had an opportunity to mess with my old man’s world.

In the time I’ve spent with my father I have notice a few things, he’s a horrible singer, he does not enjoying shaving, and he really likes to be on time. In fact, I would go as far as to say he has a fear of being late. All I had to do to get him off track was extend my nap before we left for the gym. Of course, I was not really sleeping, I was using my Daddy monitor to observe all the action.

We were supposed to leave at 10:15 and my plan was to “sleep” right until then. Once I “woke up” he would have to change me, dress me, feed me, and then pack us up to go. That would mean we could not leave until 10:40 at the earliest, which in turn would drive my father crazy.

At approximately 9:50 Daddy started to pace around the living room. Daddy even distractedly tripped over Benji when the dog wandered quietly into the room. I had been waking up from my morning napping at 9:30 like clockwork so he was concerned. By the time 10 AM rolled around the old man must have decided to wake me because he started to put a bottle together. But since my over nap tactic obviously made him frantic he put it together poorly and spilled the contents all over the kitchen! He had to clean that mess immediately so he was unable to resume waking me until 10:20!

Surprisingly, he was able to get everything done while feeding me, it was a tad uncomfortable, and got us out of the door at 10:40. I was able, however, to hack into Daddy’s google account and tweak the directions he printed before we left. Since his knowledge of the local roads is abysmal I was able to make him drive around in a five mile circle through town as he blindly followed my meandering directions.

Once he found his way out of town Daddy was able to follow the rest of the directions and get to the Baby Gym in short order. We got there only five minutes late which was kind of amazing considering all the obstacles I threw at the old man. Our arrival was somewhat awkward as ten women, twelve babies (two set of twins), and one male group leader, seated in a circle, all turned their heads simultaneously to look at my scruffy father and his delightful daughter.

Thankfully my girlfriend was easy to find so I directed Daddy to sit next to her. After that things got off to a really odd start as the leader directed the parents to sing “The Wheels on the Bus”. Normally my Daddy belts out the tunes but for some reason this time he quietly mumbled the words under his breath. Next he was instructed to stretch me out. I thought that was peculiar considering I am fairly spry as it is but the activity was surprisingly pleasant.

Next we were charged with flying in the superman position, Daddy held me in the air, while moving in a circular motion. While I can appreciate that Daddy was doing this for my benefit, I could not help but laugh at the whole experience, watching him run in a circle, while holding me, and trying not to step on all the cameras of the proud mothers that littered the floor of the little gym. He was an absolute clown. After that, they put us on a “parachute” but it looked more like a circular blanket to me.

It was there that I saw Bradly. He was a bit older, nine months, but I felt an instant connection. As we lay there on the parachute, I reached out for his big bald head and stroked him behind the ear. Daddy was a bit flummoxed by this and pulled my hand away. Undeterred, I reached again and this time accidentally stuck my finger up Bradly’s nose, my hand/eye coordination is still developing. Daddy then unfairly ripped me away from my love and plopped me down next to my girlfriend. Suddenly the chute began spinning on the floor and I grabbed my friends hand for balance but my heart was three spots over with Brad, who was now crying because he apparently got motion sick.

I attempted to make contact when we moved over to the balance beam but his twin sister, I forget her name so let’s just call her “Butt-head” jumped between me and my beloved. She wanted to know what the deal was between me and her brother but I explained, through pantomime, that she needed to mind her own business. By the time Daddy and I were rolling down the wedge shaped mat, this was a weird place, I knew I had lost my opportunity. Bradly was now fascinated by some 10 month old floozy who could crawl!

At least I could take solace in the bubbles that were blown around the room. I had never seen a bubble before, but I imagined that it is what a fart would look like if they were not invisible. Of course seeing a bubble pop for the first time was a bit shocking. I realized that bubbles were not like farts, they are like hearts, because the bursting bubbles were the perfect metaphor for how my heart felt. I just realized I might be a bit Emo. That is going to drive my Daddy crazy!

Fringe: 6 Months Later/Subject 13

Of Note: My television listed this episode as “6 Months Later” while Hulu and TV.com list it as “Subject 13”. Both names apply fine but I wonder why there was a discrepancy.

To say I was thrilled with this episode would be a dramatic understatement. I had literal goosebumps at multiple points during the hour. Olivia’s emotional rage, Peter’s inability to accept his new reality, Walter and Walternate’s struggles to rise to the occasion of their particular circumstances, and Elizabeth’s turmoil over replacing her son were all fantastic stories to follow. Obviously a few things jump out more than others and I would like to talk about the scene that blew my mind.

If you have not seen this episode, please do yourself a favor and watch it, then come back. Oliva’s cathartic moment of sharing her secret with the man that was suppose to protect her was brutally ripped away on an emotional level. On a story level, that was one of the coolest moments I’ve ever experienced on television. Walternate gave up and was content to drink himself into oblivion, only to have Olivia give him the answers he so desperately needed. Walter started the war, but it was Olivia that accepted the responsibility for the blue universe.

After reviewing the season one episode entitled, “The Cure” I was very frustrated with the introduction of Olivia’s abusive step-father only to have it become a dropped plot line as the series progressed. But “6 Months Later” really picked up that ball and ran with it. It was her evil-stepfather that unlocked the potential of cortexephan in Olivia. More importantly it was her stepfather’s abuse that drove her to a career in law enforcement. She wanted to protect people.

Folivia on the other hand did not have an evil stepfather to deal with as far as we know. She was not abused and did not see her mother abused. She did not have any reason to go into law enforcement. Olivia appearance to Walternate helps explain this. Obviously Walternate found Folivia and set her on a path to be useful to him in the future. If our Olivia could cross through universes, it stood to reason that his might too.

That of course is where things get a bit messy for Walternate. Walter did not cause the blight when he took Peter. Somehow, Walter understood the damage he caused and realized he could not continue to cross over in the manor he did originally. Walternate without that knowledge would most likely have attempted to cross into the blue universe using the same type of portal Walter originally did. Unfortunately this action is probably what triggered the destruction of Boston and necessitated the use of Amber. Of course to Walternate it would most likely seem like Walter booby-trapped the portal so he could not take back his son.

Could I complain about the fact that Peter and Olivia had no memory of their original meeting upon seeing other in Iraq in episode one? Sure, I could, but I’m not going to. Could I gripe that Walternate should have had a soft spot for Olivia considering she was the person who clued him into the whereabouts of his son in the first place? I might, but I won’t at the moment.

It was very cool to see how Olivia caused the fire damage in the room we saw way back in the episode entitled “Jacksonville”. It is also interesting that Olivia was able to make it snow. Cortexaphan is really a wonder drug when paired with the right person. I cannot wait to see how Olivia’s latent abilities will manifest as the series progresses. No reason to show us that she has the powers of Storm from the X-Men if she is not going to use them at a crucial point in the future.

Peter’s theory that he could travel back to his home by submerging himself in the frozen lake actually did make sense. Thankfully his “mother” was there to save him.

Walternate and Elizabeth must have split in the red universe. They were pretending to still be together when Peter came back for his sake.

Why was the red universe blue in the 1980’s? In fact there was not much color in the entire episode. Even the tulips were white. The professor that Elizabeth was talking about was Allister the time traveling kindred spirit of Walter from the episode entitled, “White Tulip”.

Sensyden’s: An Open Letter to the Television Industry

Since it’s premiere I have been a casual fan of the ABC series “V”. I have not loved every episode, characters have been more than a tad annoying at times, and some of the plot lines felt a bit stale. However, in my humble opinion it is better than a large majority of the junk that pollutes the digital television signal on a weekly basis. That said, until recently, if I found myself with an hour less TV time a week I would strongly have considered dropping “V” before any other show.

This season the series was on a slow march towards significant improvement in quality. I was moderately excited to see the episodes each week and even chose to watch them the night after they aired rather than wait till it was the only thing left on my DVR. Unfortunately, somehow, my DVR recorded the episode entitled, “Concordia” without sound. Rather the watch the whole thing closed captioned, I decided to delete the episode and catch it on Netflix, Hulu, or ABC.com. Worst case scenario, I figured I would purchase the episode from iTunes or Amazon.

I was a little surprised when it was not streaming anywhere legally and free on the Internet. I was simply flabbergasted when I realized it was not even available for purchase when I wanted to give the series money to buy it directly. This left me only two options, give up on the series or skip a crucial episode in a highly serialized show. Luckily in my complaining about the lack of “V” availability my sister-in-law mentioned she had the missing episode and I just needed to trek my family to her place to get caught up.

It should not be this hard to keep up with a television series.

Just today I reached my breaking point with “The Vampire Diaries”. When it first premiered I gave it a shot and decided it was not for me, though I admittedly have unreasonably high expectations for vampire shows (I called them the “Whedon Factor”). As the show continued I heard from people I trust that this was a fantastic series. A couple of weeks ago I listened to an interview with one of the show’s stars on the Channel Surfing Podcast and thought “Vampire Diaries” sounded a lot more interesting then the first episode I watched almost two years ago.

I hoped the series would stream on Netflix, Hulu, Hulu Plus, or the new Amazon Prime streaming service. Being a fairly popular show, with good buzz, I assumed they would want as many new eyeballs as they could get. I assumed wrong. It does not stream on Netflix, Hulu, or Amazon Prime. It might stream on Hulu Plus but I have no idea how to find out and I’m not paying a monthly fee before I know what is available.

This leaves me a couple of options. I can purchase season one on DVD, purchase season two when it comes out this summer, and start watching new episodes as they air next fall. Or I can purchase season one on DVD and pick up season two on iTunes or Amazon for $2.99 an episode. However, there are already 15 aired episodes of this series so far this season. That’s almost 45 bucks for an incomplete season and I’d have to burn my DVR memory saving the rest of the season while I get caught up. That is a tremendous amount of money when you add in the $28.99 it would cost to pick up season one on DVD.

If I want to download season one of Vampire Diaries it will cost me $32.99 for the standard definition version. This version is a digital copy and requires no shipping, DVD or packaging materials, and very little storage costs because it is sent over the Internet. But it is more expensive then the DVD version on Amazon.com because, why?

But if I really wanted to get caught up with “Vampire Diaries” I could do it. I could not, however, watch “Vampire Diaries” comfortably or with my wife. This is because once we get to our purchased season 2 episodes I would have to watch them on my laptop or my iPod if I purchased them in iTunes. I cannot easily get content off my computer and onto my television. I could purchase a Roku box or Apple TV, but is “Vampire Diaries” worth an additional $70.00 to $100.00 expense on top of the 80+ dollars I would be spending on the episodes? Not likely when you factor in that I already own a PS3 and Wii both of which stream content from Netflix perfectly fine already.

Therefore, instead of watching “Vampire Diaries” as I would like to, I am going to fire up the PS3 navigate over to the Netflix channel and watch “Stargate Atlantis” which I am sure does not appeal to me as much as “Vampire Diaries” would have if I had the chance to check it out. However, it is really simple to do and looks great in high definition. All for about 8 bucks a month.

It is not surprising that television ratings are down. I am forced to stream a show that has been off the air for two years because that is what is convenient and cost effective.

V: Siege

It has been a long while since I have checked in with this show because I was bored with “V”. Plot lines seemed stale, character motivations were suspect, and the overall plan of the Visitors seemed more convoluted than the plan of the Cylons. I do not even want to get into the fact that the entire active arm of the 5th Column was four people in a basement. Thankfully, the past few episodes have really done a lot to address many of the problems I have had with this series.

Siege in particular was worth noting because it changed the series significantly. Erica is now in charge of an international army, or terrorist organization depending on how you look at it. I think I am comfortable with the term freedom fighters. Eli Cohn gave her the keys to the kingdom and I cannot wait to see what she plans on doing.

Ryan is now dead? I have to admit if that is truly the way he went out as a character it feels a bit anti-climatic. Marcus got to be publicly assassinated and he still might survive, if you are going to go out as a character that is a suspenseful way to do it. Not tied to a chair when a bomb goes off.

Hobes loves someone other than himself. He loves this woman so much he was willing to kill a lot of people to save her. I wonder how much longer he will be able to look Erica in the eyes before confessing his sins.

Father Jack transformed into “Just Jack” by the Pope’s decree. He made an interesting turn this season into the public face of the 5th Column and I wonder how he will leverage his fame now that he is no longer a priest. I think the producers of Prime Focus missed a great casting opportunity for Chad’s counterpoint person.

Chad is still Anna’s head cheerleader in the eyes of the public, but he is finally a member of the 5th Column’s inner circle. I am impressed with the way this character has changed over the course of the series thus far. I wonder if he had anything to do with Erica’s USB key of horrifying anti-V evidence.

While I the subject of Erica’s anti-V dossier, I think it is time she showed that to her new FBI partner. She could always cut him behind the ear first to make sure he is human, but her little slide show was obviously effective. Her ex-husband confessed he had made a mistake in leaving her and was convinced that the DNA evidence which “proved” Tyler was not his son was somehow tampered with by the V’s. Actually forget her partner, Erica needs to put that information out on Youtube. She would have more 5th Column members than she’d know what to do with.

Tyler, I still hate you as a character. Your motivations are muddy, your actions erratic, your conclusions wrong. You want nothing more than to be a V but your parents get back together for one day and you snub your V patrons. Your father, who you now know is not your biological father, died after throwing himself onto a ticking time-bomb and you blamed your mother for not doing her job with the FBI well enough. Your lucky she only slapped you. No person, no matter how self absorbed or cold would react like that. Since the show-runners of V seem intent on purging characters, I think it is time Tyler bit it.

Lisa, in stark contrast, is becoming more and more interesting. She has finally found Diana and I for one think wacky hijinks's will ensue.

My last complaint has to do with the FBI guys closing the investigation into Erica. Was no one interested in how she ended up in that building? Or maybe why Eli took hostages only to allow Erica to escort them out? No one is questioning how her husband got into the building and ended up dead? Why did no one bother to look at the news footage of hostages being taken and realize that there were two additional people exiting the building?

Despite the FBI and Tyler’s regressing intelligence, V seems to be on a significant uptick! For the first time in a long time I am excited to see where this is going.

Fringe: 6B

That was an excellent episode of television. I know I have been slacking when it comes to writing about Fringe over the past month but I felt I needed to write about 6B. Walter slipped into his mean grandfather defensive patterns that we have not seen since early in season one. Which is actually warranted because he pulled a case file all the way back from episode two or three. While the Fringe team has not spoken about the ZFT in a long time it would seem that the followers of that line of thought provided Walter with the ingredients to “Amber”.

Olivia and Peter had finally had their big moment, good for them, I wonder if it is going to be enough to save the blue universe (red is them, blue is us). The team of Peter and Olivia was able to stop the use of Amber. They approach problems much differently than Walter, in any universe. It would now seem that all the Fringe team has to do to save the world is some very good grief consoling.

Have the Observers (I still believe they are the first people) rid themselves of all emotion because they know that strong emotional connections are what can rip the universe to shreds?

Nina and Walter had a really nice moment. Why has she not told anyone that she personally knows the author of the First People book? Why have we not met Nina’s double in the other universe? Walter referred to Brandon as, “that nervous fellow Brandon”.

According to Peter, a considerable amount of time has passed since our last episode in the blue verse. Why is Folivia not showing any signs of pregnancy? Why is she still going out on possibly dangerous missions with a bun in the oven? Who does she think she is, Sydney Bristow?

In all seriousness, the realization that a more humane way exists to fix proto-vortexes proves a lot. It proves that Walternate is not infallible and that perhaps both universes can co-exist.

Watson: What it Means to Me

I cannot recall the last time I tuned into Jeopardy! for more than a couple of questions, yet over the last three nights I found myself glued to the television for the “exhibition match” of the century. IBM’s supercomputer “Watson” defeated the two most successful players in Jeopardy! history in a three day, two game, cumulative dollar challenge. Humanity was defeated in the arena that was designed specifically for humans. I should be devastated, rather I should be digging a massive hole in my backyard to house my future Robageddon bunker.

But for some reason I am fairly happy with the success of Watson. There are of course a couple of qualifiers to my somewhat reserved glee. First off, I am assuming that Watson is not the first massive node in a computer network that could achieve sentience. Secondly, I unlike Ken Jennings (sore loser: http://slate.me/fTBtVE), do not believe Watson is a harbinger for the same kind of layoffs in knowledge based work as automation was for factory jobs.

As far as the apocalypse is concerned I believe Watson, impressive as it is, is no where near powerful enough to think independently of its human programmers. Watson’s quirks, minimal as they were, revealed the limitations of its capabilities. Watson was never 100% sure of anything, how could it be, it has never truly learned anything. The people who program Watson learned how to refine and improve the Watson algorithms which in turn made the computer better at correlating information.

However, as any psychology major can tell you, correlation does not equal causation, and it is causation that represents the wall of Watson. Watson knows that a blanket is related to warmth because the words appear near each other a significant amount, but Watson cannot understand “why” they do, because it has never been cold. Watson can see the connections between kiss, hug, love, and need but it could never produce an original sonnet about the joys of love because Watson does not experience emotions or feelings, it reports on them.

Now that I’ve spent some time tearing it down, I ask what is Watson good for? Watson, I believe is good at what we are not. Human beings are fantastic at extending our knowledge base. People have invented, reinvented, combined, recombined, composed and then improved upon ideas since the dawn of our species. Some times our progress has been slow (Dark Ages) while in other times it has been unbelievably fast (Renaissance). The key to progress has always been access to knowledge. No one person can read through all key works on any topic of importance to human advancement and then synthesize the results into an original work because the sheer volume of material would take lifetimes to consume. The amount of knowledge we currently have as a species is mind-numbing, Watson has data banks of 15 terabytes and that only scratches the surface.

What Watson could do (if it works as advertised) is comb through our knowledge base and look for information that correlates to a particular problem. It could then itemize the information according to relevance of the query thus giving humans a useful starting point at the genesis of their research rather than years, or worse lifetimes, into it. Watson can keep us from reinventing the wheel with the same exact problems of the last one. It can show us the best wheel in existence and then we can improve upon that design. Of course, that is my vision for this machine, maybe IBM has other plans for it.

The Hunger Games, Catching Fire, and Mockingjay

The Hunger Games: By Suzanne Collins

Recently I was listening to a Podcast, “The Slate Culture Gabfest”, when one of the critics mentioned this book series in the same breath as Harry Potter and the Philip Pullman novels. I knew that meant this book was something worth investigating but considering the fact that I have my hands more than full at present, I decided the investigation would be put on hold. However, I within a half hour I found myself at BJ’s to do our maintenance shopping and there I found “The Hunger Games” staring me right in the face. It was cheap enough for an impulse buy and it found its way into my basket.

Upon cracking the book open I was immediately put off by Collins choice of writing the book in the present tense. I have a personal disdain for the present tense in the form of the written word. Scanning the book I knew there were hundreds of pages to follow, logically, the action should be taking place in the past. I got over my initial snobbery by reminding myself of the heavy praise that interested me in the book to begin with an pressed onward.

What I found was an interesting world filled with a wonderfully rich narrative, likable characters, and foreign, yet familiar, circumstances. The story grabbed me almost instantly. I am admittedly a sucker for post apocalyptic fair, but I also enjoy a good medieval tale, I consume almost everything Roman, and love science fiction. This book manages to take some of the most interesting bits of all those tropes and wrap them into a neat and engaging package. The string on that package is our heroine.

Katniss is a strong female lead, think Buffy Sommers only more depressed, Lyra Belacqua only more experienced, or Olivia Dunham only younger. If you recognized any of those characters with fondness, I’m fairly certain this book is for you. Katniss leads the story, in fact, the entire book is spent in her present thoughts and conversation, but the supporting cast is just as engaging. Her family, friends, and fellow competitors all serve to make the world of Panem real.

On another, more troubling note, I do find this book series a bit morally disturbing. The premise of the book is fairly simple. In an effort display control over its conquered territory the Capital of Panem rounds up twenty-four eleven to eighteen year old conscripted “competitors” for a fully televised fight to the death in a Truman Show sized and styled arena. The book then goes on to describe in bloody detail the inhuman events that play out on this grotesque stage. Character deaths, be they friend or foe are felt doubly as painful because none of these gladiators would be old enough to drive a car in our world. One character’s demise was so upsetting that I briefly considered putting the book down for good.

This book is aimed at a seventh grade and up audience and is published by Scholastic, one of the most trusted names in education. I would not let my seventh grader read this book unless my wife, myself or a trusted teacher was reading with her and having serious discussions about morals, society, the importance of self governance, and the innocence of youth.

That acknowledged, I have only just finished the first book and I am more than ready to consume books two and three.


Catching Fire: by Suzanne Collins

Let me start by stating, the very second I finished this book I drove the half hour round trip to Barnes and Noble to pick up the third and final book in this series. I would have gone to Target to pick up “Mockingjay” but when I purchased “Catching Fire” there last night they did not have any copies of the final book on the shelves, I took a mental note. I thoroughly enjoyed “Catching Fire” even though it followed a similar story blueprint to its predecessor.

On the other hand even though this story put our heroes back into the Hunger Games the events in this arena are markedly different than that of the previous book. In “Catching Fire” we get to learn more about the world of Panem, including the political system, history, and inner workings of the districts. Katniss is forced to fully process the events of the arena the aftermath of what it means to be a victor.

To say that “Catching Fire” is a quick read is a significant understatement. From the minute I cracked open the book to the minute I left my house for Barnes and Noble I was loath to put the novel down. By the end of “Hunger Games” I had become so familiar and fond of even the minor characters and felt the pace of my reading shift from casually fun distraction to voracious consumer of the material.

The end of the book left me wanting significantly more, the mark of a good middle chapter. But I do worry about the way this series will wrap. The first two books were insular focused on Katniss and her struggles. As I complained in my previous post the reader is literally put in her head in the present tense. This of course was perfect when the stage was the Hunger Games, but I do not know how much I will enjoyed her narrow view of events when the entire world is the arena.


Mockingjay: by Suzanne Collins

I tried not to spoil in this post, but I do touch a few key plot points near the end of the series. If you want to remain spoiler free, don’t read this post right now, read the book and please come back.

Well, that was painful. It certainly took “The Hunger Games” to a logical and real conclusion but it was not a pleasant book to read. I was amazed with how quickly Collins could introduce a character, get me to like this character, and then kill said character off in a brutal way. If you thought the Harry Potter series got dark towards the end, “Mockingjay” made those books like like an episode of Sesame Street by comparison.

In “Mockingjay” our hero takes a horrible downward spiral due to the atrocities of war and the horrors she has inflicted on others since her inspirational actions in the 74th Hunger Games. Her support system is decimated and characters that were once strong, brave, and loving became shells of their former selves. War is hell, this book is clear on that point.

I thoroughly enjoyed the first book and had fun with the second book, though it became obvious that the conclusion would not be buttercups and dandelions. When the smoke clears at the end of the final novel no one is made stronger, better, or more whole. All the characters are so tormented by what they have seen, done, and thought about doing while attempting to break the shackles of the Capitals control.

This is a realistic ending, how real people would react given the circumstances thrust upon them. However, it is not a good ending. I do not feel like I learned something, was genuinely surprised, or even got what I wanted from this book series. The characters who were mentally damaged beyond repair survived while the ones with bright futures perished. The final hundred pages of Mockingjay read more like a “Saw” film than a fantasy novel.

The truth is even the first book was a bloody mess of a story only tempered by the fact that our heroine attempted to be a moral and reasonable human being. By the time she is standing with her final arrow in hand her morality has been stripped away and she killed without feeling, simply making a cold calculation and thus determining her target. She lost my sympathies and a previously revolting scene and while some may call her final act of consequence redemption I thought it was another repulsive act from a broken weapon.

I knew all along the ending the series was headed for, but I had hoped Collins wrote herself into a corner to impress the reader by writing her way out of it. Instead she wrote herself into a corner and then lashed out like a cornered and wounded animal. Good luck to Collins and company on adapting these books into a movie series. I do not know how they can possibly do it without earning an R rating. This series screams death, violence, and sadness to change any of that would alter the very nature of the material.

Thoughts on Daddy 4

I know it has been a while since I checked in last but for the most part things have been going smoothly and thus I’ve had nothing to complain/write about. That was until two days ago when everything went haywire.

It all started when Daddy and I were having fun on the play mat. It is a pretty comfortable play mat so I figured I could lull the old man to sleep at which point I would then make my way to the computer to play some Bejeweled. Unfortunately he was not sleepy. My next plan was to mess with Daddy by stealing his glasses. I reached out and took them right off his face without any issues. Surprised and excited by my sudden success I did the baby equivalent of a touchdown dance. Embarrassingly, I did not account for my fathers glasses which I now held firmly in my tiny fist and ended up pressing the arm of the glasses under my eye.

To be clear, I did not scream, moan, or sob. I simply realized my kinesthetic error and handed Daddy’s glasses back to him. He, however, freaked out. He ripped me up off my comfy play mat, shinned bright lights into my eyes, and inexplicably started yelling at Benji for looking at him “like that”.

Thankfully after a couple of minutes he calmed down and we went back to play. But the spit hit the fan the second Mommy got home. She looked at my eyes and said, “why is one of her eyes a little red?” She did not realize I had just woken up from a nap and wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep. Daddy then confessed the scenario which I previously described and Mommy insisted he take me to the doctors.

Getting there was not a problem. The pediatrician took one look at my eye, gave me a clean bill of health, and sent us on our way. Things were looking up but then my lovely parents decided they wanted to go to the grocery store. After a brief shop we were back at the car and that’s when I heard Mommy gasp.

I was able to piece together that we had a fat tire which I am going to assume is a bad thing. Because if you have a fat tire people you don’t know come up to you and say, “Hey are you OK, do you need help with changing that fat?” Frustratingly, my father refused help from about six different people in the Shoprite parking lot. After around 20 minutes of metal banging and my Dad saying things like, “stupid tire, stupid fat, stupid hex nut”, he came over to Mommy and I and said, “we need a tire key for this car, there is no way to way get the wheel off without one”.

While I have not been around that long, even I knew that sounded a bit off. But I was not about to say anything so the situation continued to get more desperate by the minute. Daddy tried calling Grandpa for some advice but since he refuses to purchase a new cell phone his phone instantly died, even though he had a full charge. To make things more complicated, Mommy left her phone at home. Now we were in a wet parking lot, with a fat tire, and no way to contact anyone who cared about us!

Then, through what I can only describe as divine intervention, I saw my father run over to a truck that just parked in the lot. It was a Nissan like our car and it seemed like Daddy was trying to get his hands on a magical tire key. I could not see the man Daddy was talking to, but I heard him say, “I have never heard of a tire key for a Nissan Versa, and I am sure I don’t have one”. Daddy then mumbled something about all hope being lost and the man responded, “Well, do you mind if I take a look at it?”.

My father, being in no position to deny help from anyone, any longer, allowed him to approach our fat tire. The man who had just come into my line of sight, can only be described as huge. He picked up the tire iron, which looked like a toothpick in his massive palm, placed it on the wheel, and proceeded to remove each nut as nimbly as an ogre sized elf. Daddy then said something about heroes in our modern world and the man left as quickly as he had come. Thankfully it only took another four minutes 37 seconds for Daddy to get the donut on the car. On a side note, I have been lead to believe that donuts only add to fat problems but I guess cars are different than people.

Thoughts on Fatherhood 8

The baby and I have spent a lot of time indoors since I have been a stay at home Daddy due in part to nature this winter. It simply is not feasible to go for a leisurely walk when there are more than 2 inches of un-shoveled snow on the ground. Suffice to say, we’ve gotten fairly complacent with our wardrobe choices.

We received some unexpected company recently and after taking a quick glance at myself in the mirror, I realized I needed to make some minor appearance adjustments before they walked in the door. However, my refusal to wear work attire coupled with my inability to fold laundry put me in a bit of a bind. Minutes before my company arrived I turned to my child and said, “wait here, Daddy’s has to go change into his nice pajamas”.

Besides daring clothing moves, it turns out that I’m fairly good at this fatherhood thing, at least so far. We dance, sing, practice sitting up, talk, do the household chores, and roll over (though not as well as Benji does). When my little girl smiles and I know I’m doing well! Of course, at times she when she smiles it leads me to believe she has a different agenda than I.

Just this morning she was sitting in her high chair as I was unloading the dishwasher. I looked over at her and she seemed moments away from dozing off to sleep. I hurried to finish putting everything away, glanced back over, and saw her wide awake with a massive smile. Pleasantly surprised, I went over to her and kissed her on the head. As I approached I noticed the smell of poop. I kissed her as intended and then brought her to the changing table.

What I found was not surprising, however, the quantity was a bit shocking. She must have pooped out 5% of her body weight because it was all over everything. It escaped her diaper, went through her pajamas, and even managed to smear on my arm and shirt in transit from the chair to the table. The entire 20 minute process I spent cleaning and changing her she spent smiling and occasionally stuck her tongue out at me, as if to say, “got you”!

Fringe: The Firefly

Usually I have to looked up the episode titles after watching an hour of Fringe but for some reason this one stuck. The irony of moving Fringe to a night that has killed three shows I was heavily invested in coupled with this hopefully non-prophetic title was not lost on me. That said, if Fringe got the Sarah Conner treatment and was given a season beyond what its ratings justified that would be fine by me.

Would it have killed the writers of Fringe to have named Christopher Lloyd’s character “Dr. Brown”? While something that on the nose may have been to cute by half, I would have enjoyed it. That out of the way, I did have fun with the character of Roscoe and hope to see him again. Walter had a lot to learn from his fallen idol.

The Observer September was busy this week. Walter’s comment, “they aren’t human, you can’t expect them to think like us” was made crystal clear when September brought down a crew of diamond thieves. I still hold to my theory that the Observers are the first people, from a dimension where their Alpha/Omega machine did not destroy them.

This whole episode was all about Walter being able to sacrifice Peter for the greater good. However, in the end Walter simply had to be willing to sacrifice Peter and because he was willing, Peter survived. It would seem that the Observers will be playing the role of God and Walter will double for Abraham. I guess it was only a matter of time until another JJ Abrams show started overtly comparing characters to biblical figures.

I miss Folivia, Charlie, and Lincoln. Please bring them back. Speaking of Folivia, Peter and Olivia’s relationship slowly on the mend. It could get really uncomfortable if Folivia popped back into the picture and declared her true love for Peter.

This episode was a slow mover as far as the ongoing saga of Fringe is concerned which is odd considering the Observers played such a key role this week. Hopefully next week picks up a head of steam and gets us moving again!

Caprica: Dirteaters

This was a fantastic show, but I can almost understand why Syfy cancelled it. The flashbacks to Turon started out slow but grew into some of the most dramatic and fraked up television I have seen in a long time. Joseph Adama shot three enemies and then ended the violence by killing his own father. Turon is a complicated place perhaps too complicated for a network that features Ghosthunters International, Warehouse 13, and professional wrestling.

I would have never pegged Samuel as the naive and mostly innocent younger brother but it does makes sense. Samuel failed his father by freezing at a moment where he needed to push forward and has since chosen the path of violence time and time again as a means to make up for his past inaction. Joseph on the other hand did what “needed to be done” and was sickened by it. Therefore he chose the path of law and attempted to leave violence in his past. However, Sam’s latest choices have led to a betrayal of the Guatra and now Joseph must follow him into hell once more.

Avenging Angel’s seems too cute for what Tamara and Zoe are capable of and thankfully this was a realization they were able to come to on their own. There complete destruction/reformation of New Cap City was impressive, though I would have been more impressed if I did not see Inception this summer.

Jordan apparently did not cover all his bases. Two points for his turncoat GDD boss. Amanda is now spying on Clarice in return for what exactly? Perhaps Jordan is truly done, but his actions put Amanda on a collision course with the resurrection program which in turn puts it in the path of Daniel as well. Perhaps this is how we get to apotheosis.

Speaking of apotheosis, it would seem that the only person Clarice is interested in elevating is herself. She fights for the One God and kills in his name but her end game is apotheosis for herself and everyone else can occupy space in her heaven.

Did anyone else forget that Bill Adama was ever featured in this series?

Why I Will Not Purchase a Verizon iPhone

Since the launch of the iPhone I have always thought it was an awesome device I would purchase the minute it came to another carrier, specifically Verizon. The draconian rules of cell contracts coupled with the throw away nature of cellular phones led me to believe I could never escape the Verizon sphere of influence. This is especially true because I am on a family share plan in which three phones renew the contract in three different seasons. Eventually I came to realize this was not terrible news because the more I learned about the iPhone I realized it had one major weakness, AT&T.

Now that weakness is gone and I am free to purchase an iPhone on Verizon’s robust network, so I may continue my cellular indentured servitude another two years. However, I have decided for a variety of reasons that an iPhone purchase at the point would not be the best decision for me or my family. Specifically, the timing is wrong, the pricing is high, and the competition is fierce.

Apple is notorious for releasing revolutionary new products and then significantly evolving them on a one to two year cycle. This is a major reason why I refuse to purchase a first generation iPad when every fiber of my tech loving being desperately wants one. The iPhone 4 has been out for a while now and it is no secret that this product is tweaked on a yearly basis. Verizon will get their iPhone 4 in the middle of February and it will be old news by late Spring, early Summer. Better to wait a couple of months to get the latest and greatest from Apple, especially since we have waited this long already.

Maybe I am cheap, or maybe my wife is monetarily cautious and I love my wife so I am frugal, but $299.99 (before tax) for a 32 gig phone seems a bit steep. I could purchase a 16 gig phone for 100 bucks less, but I would be cutting my current iPod capacity in half if I do that. Then there is the astronomical monthly data access fee, about 30 bucks a month on top of what I currently pay, which is substantial. Assuming I can get over my parsimonious approach to cellular handsets the iPhone still has to deal with fierce competition from other devices.

While iPhone competitors were negligible in the first few years of the products life cycle, this is no longer the case. The market has dozens of Android powered phones which have all the functionality of iPhone if not the je ne sais quois that makes users smile when playing with that particular handset. I do, however, know that this iteration of the iPhone will not be 4G enabled which means it is actually a generation behind some of its Android competition in terms of internet access speeds. Think of iPhone as DSL browsing while something like the HTC Thunderbolt 4G will be cruising along at cable modem speeds (if you don’t understand what that means I really appreciate you reading this entire posting).

I cannot believe I have come to this point after waiting so long for the magic phone to find its way to Verizon but I will not be purchasing an iPhone any time soon.

Full disclosure I own one share of Apple Inc. and a share of Google as well, I know I’m way to invested in these companies to objectively share my opinions.

Caprica: Blowback

I cannot believe that the Syfy channel burned all five remaining episodes of Caprica in one marathon night. While this was not the best way for the series to go out, at least they aired the episodes. Thank the gods (or God depending which side you fall on) for DVR functionality.

That out of the way I would like to talk about this specific episode. The hostage scenes were unbelievably powerful. I could not believe Syfy allowed this show to get away executing young people fighting a religious war. In all honesty, I felt very uncomfortably with the scenes as a whole and hard a truly hard time watching.

They then divulged that it was simply the first of many training exercise Lacey and her crew will face in STO boot camp. It was not real so nobody died, all was good, at least for the people who did not fail the exercise. But those deaths were now going to be done off camera. Except it was not done off camera and the audience viewed the executions all over again. Powerful and painful stuff to watch, I can’t believe Syfy canceled this show.

Speaking of painful to watch, how in the worlds did Clarice Willow come to any kind of power within the STO? It is obvious she is willing to kill to achieve her goals, but Mar-Beth was a true believer, possibly more so than Clarice herself. How is she not suspicious of Amanda? I can’t believe cop with a grudge, whose name may be Jordan (I tried to remember this time) completely outplayed Clarice, his boss and possibly the entire STO. Of course the Willow home does now have Zoe’s pin which may in fact be the resurrection program so Clarice is not as dumb as I like to believe she is.

My only question is how in the worlds is Daniel going to come into possession of that pin again? Maybe Clarice will bring it to him in an effort to understand the data, I wouldn’t be surprised if what is on that pin is all Turonese to her. The program he created of his wife was horrendous compared to Zoe’s, however, a grieving family would pay boat loads for it. Daniel does not believe in good enough. Daniel might be a dead man by series end if the Ha’La’Tha has his way.

However, smart money is on the brothers Adama killing off the Ha’La’Tha and perhaps installing Sam as the new big boss. If Joseph hates Daniel for his daughter’s actions how could he let the Ha’La’Tha get away with arming the people who put Zoe up to the deed? Samuel’s moral code will eventually begin to weigh on Joseph, it has to. While Caprica depicts all characters in morally ambiguous shades of grey Joseph has completely gone to the dark side at this point and needs some kind of redemption because at this point I don’t want to believe he fathered Bill Adama.

I did not hate Amanda this week. In fact, I actually enjoyed her storyline a bit. She actually does hate Clarice and is willing to do what it takes to bring her to justice, unless it involves risking her own life. Well, baby steps are important. If this series lived past the first season I wonder if she’d make an impressive Ellen Tigh like transition.

Thoughts on Daddy 3

Someone needs to have a talk with my Daddy. I would, but as I have previously indicated, I don’t talk yet and I’m doing my best to make sure he does not read my blog. Thankfully, this talk does not need to be about me. In fact, as we round out the first two weeks of Daddy Days he seems to be adjusting nicely (though at present he has been singing a lot from the Wicked soundtrack so not everything is perfect). Someone has to talk to him about his inability to be the pack leader of Benji, Daddy, and me.

I thought I had Daddy wrapped around my finger but it seems I could learn a thing or two from our manipulative dog. Our dog spent a majority of his time downstairs when I was first born. He obviously did not know how to integrate himself into the new family unit. More importantly, I think Mommy scared him a bit so Benji kept his distance.

However, in the two weeks since Daddy’s been home the old man has ceded more and more personal space to Benji than I thought possible. For instance, once Benji realized that Daddy was the parent in the home (a reality I have recently resigned myself to) he began to hang upstairs more. However, the hardwood floor is no place for a dog to nap, so Benjamin Linus (apparently his name is a television reference I don’t get) took one of the pillows off the couch downstairs and made himself a little nest near my play mat.

Daddy’s reaction should have been, “bad Benji” and taken the pillow to put it back on the couch, at least that would have been Mommy’s reaction. Instead, Daddy’s reaction was, “aw, how cute is this dog, he wants to spend more time with us, look he doesn’t quite fit, how adorable, baby feed yourself I’m going to snap a picture and put it on Facebook”, or something to that effect. This all happened seven or eight days ago and as I type this the dog is currently on that disgusting couch cushion.

The rest of what I am about to share happened while I was “sleeping”, but I’ve been able to observe Daddy and dogie’s behavior with my daddy monitor procured from Daddy’s R Dum.com. For some reason, the dog respected me more than my Father because whenever I hang out Benji sits on his pillow and naps. Yet, when it’s just them, if Daddy attempted to recline on his comfy couch and watch TV Benjamin would get right in his face and bark repeatedly.

At first Daddy would freak out and tackle the dog because he did not want Benji to wake me. But eventually Daddy noticed that Benji’s tail would wag the whole time they were wrestling, even when he used his “stern voice”. His next approach while more effective in the short term only served to reinforce bad Benjamin behavior. Every time Benjamin would start to get a little antsy Daddy would give him a treat. If Benji remained crazy for more than a few treats Daddy would give him wet food, his favorite. After three days of this conditioning Daddy realized that Benji remained in a state of hyperactivity the entire time Mommy was at work in an attempt to earn constant treats.

Breaking that cycle took some significant effort but I think Daddy finally figured out a system which is workable, if uncomfortable. It is kind of ironic that Benji started this whole series of events by bringing a pillow onto the hardwood floor because that is now where Daddy relaxes while I sleep. Now, when Benji gets that look in his eyes Daddy climbs onto the floor and Benji is content with Daddy’s discomfort. Humorously Benji rests on his pillow while Daddy lays on the floor. I can’t make this stuff up, but I think I can claim the title of pack leader!

Caprica: False Labor

Ironic that an actual child was born in an episode entitled “False Labor”. Of course the falsity referred to in the title was Daniel’s stalled progress on Zoe’s resurrection program. That said, in order to have a false labor a women must actually be pregnant. Therefore it is only a matter of time before Daniel figures this program out and actually resurrects the resurrection machine.

Amanda Greystone is actually enjoying her time in the group household, I don’t care what she told the police officer with a grudge. Also, I completely believe that she had postpartum depression after giving birth, let’s remember that she has had significant mental issues in her past. While it was nice that Clarice was not prominently featured in this episode, a double dose of Amanda was almost a little too much to bear.

I love that Zoe is taunting her father from beyond the grave. That said, she did have angelic help with the coding if we are to believe she has her very own head-character. Which kind of bums me out a little. The Cylons are supposed to be the children of humanity, not the children of God by way of humanity. Yet, Zoe designed the Cylon body with prophetic support and her father stole it. She then coded the resurrection program with heavenly help and her father is about to steal that as well.

While Zoe was responsible for the first Cylon taste of human blood, Samuel really just let the flood gates open. He killed a dozen people. While the Cylon stated, “By your command”, I added in my head, “But not for much longer”. Sam sees himself as a freedom fighter, but he is living on a world where he is the only one who cares. I wonder when he’ll hop a shuttle for Turon, Cylon in the cargo hold, and start settling things the way he knows how. Shouldn’t someone from Greystone Industries notice that the Cylon got shot up?

Joseph made a human connection again. I wonder how long before she reveals her virtual persona to him. Also, if she continues going into New Cap City shouldn’t she have news to share with him regarding his daughter? Joseph’s conversation with Daniel in the smoking section outside of the building was fantastic, I wish they would give those two screen time together.

Caprica: The Things We Lock Away

I finally caught up on this long neglected episode of television. I had this on my DVR for a week or so, because sometimes life gets busy. I completely intended to watch it as I truly did love this show when I heard the news that Caprica was cancelled by Syfy. I was disheartened and put off watching this episode even further into the future. The future turned into more than a couple of months, but here I am finally getting around to this series once again.

While this particular episode was no masterpiece it did serve as a reminder that this was a series cut down too soon. There are some amazingly complex and interesting concepts in Caprica. The scene where Zoe is confronted by family members of those who died in the Maglev bombing was powerful and thought provoking. “This won’t bring him back” she said to her soon to be attacker, “Yeah, but it might feel good”. The young man who stabbed her in the stomach didn’t even know if what he was doing was right. But he did it anyway because there are no perceived consequences for actions in New Cap City.

From a philosophical point of view I would argue that that man had nightmares about what he did to Zoe. In fact, all of the people who viciously attacked her in the arena should have had nightmares about what they did to her. When does a game cease to be a game? When you feel as though it is real. New Cap City is a real place, you just don’t take a car, plane, or train to get there. You power up the holoband and you have been transported to a real destination. If you die there you are done, you’ve gone on to another life, an afterlife.

A lot was made in this episode about the humanity of Zoe. Zoe is human. In fact, she is so human that she gets her very own head-character. Since she has not made a “meaningful” connection with another human being, her head-character comes in the form of herself. While I like the concept I cannot help but feel as though it is a little stale considering we now know what these projections are, if you saw the series finale of Battlestar Galactica (if you haven’t, what’s wrong with you).

The King is dead, long live the King! If Daniel wanted to keep the blood off his hands he should have never attempted a military coup. Virgis turned out to be a few cards short of a deck, because Daniel’s plan was not a terrible one. How much power could this mob family possibly have? Of course, I would like to give the writers credit for giving Virgis the courage to carry out his misguided convictions. He came there with a plan and would not be deterred from it, unlike Tamara.

Tamara was convinced in short order that she needed to befriend Zoe. If she truly believed that Zoe was responsible for the Maglev disaster she should have needed considerably more time to get over it. Especially considering the fact that she died in the tragedy.

Clarice and Amanda are still not interesting and now Lacey isn’t interesting either. That is all I have to say about that story line for now.

Fallout New Vegas

This pains me to write but Fallout New Vegas is a broken game. I can say that with authority because I played this game for easily 50 hours (according to my wife it was considerably more time). I know what you are thinking, “why in the world would anyone play a broken game for more than 50 hours?” The answer to that question is complicated so I’ll do my best to explain.

My desire to push forward with New Vegas stems from my love of Fallout 3. I picked that game up and instantly fell in love with the story, action, and inventory system. The phrase “you are over encumbered and cannot run” meant it was time to slow down the breakneck pace of the game and figure out which items to combine, use, or toss. It sounds mundane, I know, but it was seriously fun for some odd reason. Action was intense, almost any weapon ever imagined was available for use to kill mutated insects, feral animals, and other crazy creatures you’d come across in the irradiated waste of post nuclear war USA. The story was pitch perfect, you play as a naive young man looking for his father in the remnants of the nations capital.

Fallout New Vegas had the action and the inventory system but the story was convoluted to say the least. You play as a courier who was left for dead then basically raised from it. You then go into the wastes of Nevada and meet all the groups vying for power. They all want you to work towards their goals to feed their ambitions for the area. It is a really neat setup for a game but I could not help but feel as though my choices were ultimately forced upon me and the openness promised was nothing more than smoke and mirrors.

There is a a karma system in the game which tells you whether or not your actions are good or evil. If I was attacked by a group, meaning they shot first, and I managed to survive I would receive bad karma not for killing people but from stealing by stealing their possessions after they died. I found that to be an odd moral code. But if that was my only problem I’d soon get over it. Non-playable-character’s (NPC’s) want your head on a stick if you shoot another NPC in front of them which makes sense, however, they also attempt to kill you if you take a soda out of their fridge. What’s worse, if you fight back and kill them after they’ve attacked you for being a mooch you’ll get back karma for the soda and the NPC deaths on your hands.

However, it was not until I came across a character known as E-DE that I realized New Vegas was not held to same quality control standards as Fallout 3 (which admittedly had problems of its own). I loved E-DE. It was a flying robot which brought death from above to all who dared to attack me. It was encoded with a message from the Enclave that I was attempting to piece together when it disappeared. I don’t mean wandered off and forgot to come back, I mean literally disappeared from the game. The robot showed up on my map, at the Boomer Base, but everywhere I wandered it would elude me.

I spent hours searching for that bot until I finally broke down and consulted an online guide. On message boards I found out that E-DE was not gone because of something I did, but rather this was a frequent glitch with the game. The only suggested remedy was going back to a previous save. Sadly I did not have a previous save, because in my search I did various other tasks to break the boredom and I lost E-DE permanently. Since E-DE was technically in my party, meaning I still had the perks of its company, I was unable to recruit another character to my cause.

Once E-DE was gone, the bloom was off the rose. The game crashed almost hourly with no rhyme or reason. This would hamper my progress significantly and put me in a catch 22. I could save often and possibly add another bug to my play through or not save until I know everything was kosher but risk a freeze and lose all progress. On other occasions, I would complete a task only it would still be active on my Pipboy and characters would act as if we were right in the middle of action that was not happening. It got so bad that I began to assume things that were actually supposed to happen in game were glitches.

For example, the NCR kept attacking me even though I did nothing aggressive to them and I reset the game half a dozen times trying to get it to work right. It turned out that I was wearing armor of a faction that they were at war with and that is why I was accosted, which is actually a really neat game mechanic. Unfortunately, because of my continued frustrations with this game I thought, “this game is so busted” and tried an external remedy.

The next paragraph contains spoilers about events near the end of the game. Skip if you are sensitive to such things!

Currently I am at Hoover Dam about to go the independent route to victory. I spent the entire game courting the NCR and even got them to begrudgingly spare the Brotherhood of Steel. Yet for reason, which I cannot explain, the mission to save President Kimball ended without ending. The characters froze in time and no amount of resetting could bring them to the present. Being unable to finish that mission meant I had to beat the game with help from Yes Man, whom I dislike passionately. Once the NCR started shooting at me for following Yes Man’s directions I powered my Playstation down and started writing down my thoughts as a way to release my frustrations with this unfinished game.

Fallout New Vegas could have been spectacular, unfortunately in my experience it is mostly just a broken game.

Thoughts on Daddy 2

No Mommy again yesterday, that makes a full week! I think something major has changed. We all had about ten days together and then it seems as if Mommy and Daddy switched schedules. In any event it is very odd and I’m not sure I love the situation. Mommy is fun, comforting, and chatty. Daddy on the other hand is gruff, hairy, and primarily speaks to me in song.

I started taking extra naps this week just so I wouldn’t have to hear him sing the full soundtrack of the Lion King acapella for the fifth time in one day (btw I Googled spelling for acapella and it varies so please don’t send me harassing emails). In ridiculous buffoon news, the lint roller got stuck to Daddy’s back and he walked around with it there for a full five minutes before he noticed!

Along those same lines Daddy seems to be taking over household chores a bit more this week. I saw him do almost ten loads of laundry, curiously he did not fold anything he just piled clean clothes in the guest bedroom. He has been cooking more too which is usually his strong suit, at least according to Mommy (she’s probably just being polite). But the other day he made a mess in the oven when he spilled an uncooked pizza whilst trying to transfer it to his pizza stone.

Daddy told me last night before he put me to bed that he was going to clean the oven. Unfortunately he did not consult me on how to do it. He seemed to believe he could simply hit the “self cleaning” button and go to bed. Whelp, he had a literal rude awakening when the smoke detector started beeping! Actually, the detector did not wake him so I had to start screaming to get his lazy butt out of bed. Before you call me a baby, I smelled smoke and thought the house was on fire.

After rolling over and attempting to quiet my calls for help by shoving a pacifier in my mouth, he also realized that the house was on fire. He sprang from the bead and I did see him again for almost 20 minutes. I did hear some conversation bits which I would like to share with you now. “They should have a warning sticker on that effing button”, “No, you have to do it I can’t reach the ceiling”, “I swear I am going to hit this piece of (I did not recognize this word so I did not remember it) with a hammer”.

Correction: When I was composing my blog in Google Docs I had fully intended to create my own website and post there. However, time constraints coupled with Google’s refusal to monetize my blog because I’m not technically old enough to use the web made the cost/benefit equation tip towards piggy backing off Daddy’s blog. It does pain me to share digital space with his awful reviews of the equally awful show FlashForward (I was in utero for part of that series and even I knew they were not going anywhere).

Thoughts on Daddy

He finally put me in my crib so I am able to post to my blog! I was lucky enough to “procure” my Mommy’s iPod Touch and I’ve seen Daddy write in Google Docs/post to Blogger so frequently that this was easier than learning to crawl, talk, or poop on the potty (all skills which I have yet to master, or minor for that matter). Thankfully the written word comes easily to me and I figured it was time to let the world know what I am thinking.

First off, I would like to thank my Mommy for taking such good care of me from birth through today! No one understands my needs more than Mom! Which brings me to my Daddy. What is up with this guy?

He woke me up early this morning because I coughed and he thought I was going to stop breathing, nincompoop. Then he put on my Pandora station, which I usually love, and proceeded to butcher every song that was played because he figured I would not tell the world how terrible he sounded belting out “Everything” by Michael Buble (Buble is a funny name to say, it’s like bubble, only French). Whelp, Dad, the joke is on you because I’m telling everyone!

How am I going to have any shot at musical talent if he continues to sing so poorly and loud? I cannot even hear the actual version of the song over his obnoxious warbling. I think he is going to make me tone deaf before I can even speak. Not to mention the way he musically mumbles when he does not know the actual words to the song! All I’m saying is maybe Daddy should just read me a book and leave the music to actual musicians.

While I am complaining, I would like to note that I am not allowed to watch TV. The television is shiny, loud, and stimulating which is a perfect recipe to help my brain develop and expand my vocabulary, yet they won’t let me anywhere near it! It is a terrible irony considering the fact that Daddy’s blog has four times as many posts on Fringe as it does on me!

Speaking of things to do online, I think it is time I was allowed to get my own Facebook page. I mean, I’m 17 weeks old today and I really need to connect with people. I know for a fact that there are already hundreds of pictures of me online and I believe I need to start managing my image before it spirals out of my control.

Fringe: The Cure

This was a fantastic episode in many respects and a puzzling one in others. Olivia’s speech to Broyles at the end of the episode was a perfect example of how impressive she is as a person. Peter’s little grin as Walter made Mr. Papaya’s (the friendliest of all fruits) head explode was a perfectly understated way to clue the audience into the fact that he actually is beginning to like his father.

I loved the scene with Nina Sharp and Peter at the horse park (I bet there is a fancier name for it but I am not searching). Nina knows more about Peter’s past than almost any other character on the show. He made fruitful contact with Peruvian natives, really? She also clued the Peter into Walter’s relationship with the Massive Dynamic crew, which was significantly more meaningful than Peter originally thought.

Let’s ignore the fact that a person who attempted to kill a man at the age of nine might have a hard time getting into the FBI. The issue with Olivia’s stepfather seemed a bit out of left field to me, which is really odd considering I’ve seen many episodes beyond this one and I don’t recall them mentioning it ever again. Was Olivia’s sister born after she shot this man?

If she was that makes Rachel Olivia’s half sister? I seem to remember something about Olivia’s mother dying in child birth but I could be confusing that with Rachel dying shortly after being born on the other side. On a side note, who knew a yearly birthday card could be so creepy?

More to the point, who is Olivia’s father? We’ve never met Mr. Dunham and he has never been directly referenced by any character in the series. Wouldn’t it be crazy if Walter created her in a test tube? Of course that isn’t extremely likely for a variety of reason, the foremost being she exists in both universes. I am more than a little curious as to who Olivia’s father actually is.

I did not spot the Observer in this episode, minus ten cool points for me!

Fringe: Power Hungry

Our friend Meegar was a living conduit of electricity. Neat ability if he could figure out how to control it. I think Meegar was a cortexaphan kid, but I don’t remember for sure. This episode as a whole was a bit slow, the story of the week was less than thrilling, and our progress on the John Scott/Pattern front while considerable was a bit uninteresting. In short, this episode laid groundwork for story to come.

I enjoyed Walter and Astrid’s interaction where she called him out on not knowing her name. He did at least know it started with an “A”. The Observer got off the elevator early in this episode. I’m really having fun with the where’s Waldo aspect of the Observer story line considering I missed it completely the first time around.

Charlie was a good friend to Olivia. He did not judge Olivia when she told him about seeing John Scott and he gave her good advice on how to get over her trauma. It is telling that she confided in Charlie over Walter or Peter at this point in the series. I truly hope they are able to bring Charlternate back from the other universe and into ours.

Fringe: The Arrival

Well the Observers showed up in a big way in this particular episode. I believe this week’s featured Observer goes by the name September but I cannot be sure until I get to the episode “August”. It took Olivia three weeks to spot the Observer which is fairly impressive considering it took me three episodes and I knew of their existence when I began my re-watch.

It is amazing to see Walter and Peter interact at this stage in their relationship. Walter wants to connect with Peter, but he simply does not know how to go about it. Where as Peter wants nothing to do with the old man but is drawn to him like a magnet.

Olivia began to fall in love with Peter in this episode. He, as per usual, is oblivious. Unfortunately she is going to have to deal with quite a bit before she and Peter have an actual shot at a relationship.

My favorite moment of this episode was the Walter/Astrid interaction, post injection. In the present of this series no one understands Walter better or enjoys his company more than Astrid. They have come a remarkably long way!

The “bad guy” in this episode seemed an awful lot like a rouge Observer. He wore a hat with a green, green, green, red dotted pattern so we could not tell whether or not he was bald. His eyebrows could easily have been drawn on his face. But the most telling sign was that his weapon was certainly not of this world. Additionally he had the ability to read thoughts of people, albeit with a bit of mechanical help.

We now know that this device was not the reason the September saved Walter and Peter. He saved them because Peter has a greater purpose to bring about the end of one world. With a device I believe the Observers themselves created.

The canister in this episode vibrated on a radio frequency of 2400 megahertz. I wonder if that is anywhere near the frequency of the numbers stations that gave our Fringe team the locations of the pieces of the doomsday machine. It would certainly explain the Observers interest in this particular device.

Fringe: Ghost Network

Well that was interesting. Ghost Network gave us a significant preview of things to come, specifically Amber. Walter even said that the people on the bus seemed like flies caught in amber. Watching this episode again truly made me believe in the plan of the writers to tell a wonderfully coherent story from beginning to end.

The whole ghost network idea seemed a bit odd. I know often the audience has to simply buy into the the “science” of Fringe but why was Roy picking up phone conversations? If he was tapped into that mans mind he should be able to see all his thoughts not just the evil actions he is a part of.

I forgot that Charlie was funny! He joked with Olivia about John Scott telling him he loved him as well!

I finally caught the Observer! He was on the train in a half second flash as Olivia was walking by. I did a bit of research and picked up a Fringe Podcast called “The Fringe Podcast” and they inferred that the Observer shows up in every single episode of Fringe. If I have time I’ll go back and re-re-watch episodes one and two.