Apple Store Fun... Wait how do YOU define "fun"?

I went to the Apple Store today in an effort to get my wife’s IPOD fixed. She’s got a generation 3 nano (Fat Nano) and she loves it. Recently it stopped syncing to our computer much to my wife’s chagrin, hence the trip to the Apple Store.

We were running late on our way to the store, it’s about 30 minutes away and we left at 10:06 for our 10:30 appointment, plus they tell you to arrive 5 minutes early. As we pulled in front of the store my wife jumped from the car to walk in around 10:33. I screamed instructions to her as she ran inside while I parked the car in order to not miss our appointment; “Tell them you are there for the Geek Squad, because your IPOD isn’t syncing!” That was our first faux pas of the day because when she went in she said exactly that to the friendly greeter who responded; “You mean you have an appointment with a Genius?” Apple snobs.

After I parked the car I walked into the store and the greeter asked me how she could help me today. Thrown off slightly by the question I said “I’m here to meet my wife” and pointed to some non-descript section near the back of the store… also I mumbled the statement and it might have sounded like “I’m here to say goodnight”.

By the time I got into the Store proper my wife was already speaking with the appointed “Genius” who said that she would restore the IPOD to factory settings. I whispered to the Mrs. “that won’t work because I tried that… a lot”. Much to my surprise 10 seconds later the “Genius” turned around and exclaimed “It worked”. The “Genius” then stated that she was going to try to sync the IPOD with some of the stores music to see if the process took.

It was at that moment I thought, “Maybe we’ll get some free music out of this deal… no Itunes is DRMed and I’m sure the music they sync will be authorized on more than five computers… wait most of Itunes is DRM free now so maybe I’ll get some cool DRM free music… nah this store is old so it’s most likely music that was purchased before the DRM switch.” It was at the point the “Genius” turned around and said “Ok that worked, now I’ll just wipe your IPOD clean again”. Oddly that outcome never crossed my mind.

But happy the IPOD was fixed the wife and I decided to play with some shiny new Mac’s in the store. We did what we enjoy doing most nowadays when we are in giant computer labs; we reset all the Mac’s in the store homepages to my blog and left my blog on every computer screen, it was pretty awesome. Then we left, very proud of our accomplishment. Kim went off to look around some other store which was fine with me because I had some business to attend to.

Basic research on the IPOD problem before hand informed me that it was possible the “Genius” would “fix” our issue in store only to have the issue resurface the second we got home. I was two steps ahead of Mr. Jobs and crew this time because I had my Dell laptop in the car ready to sync the newly fixed IPOD. Only of course it didn’t sync at all and the IPOD was still broken.

I then did the only logical thing I could think of at the time. I entered the Apple Store with my Dell Notebook! And this time I was not to be intimidated by Apple Snob greeter. When she asked “How can I help you today?” I was ready.

I stated “I just had an appointment with a “Genius” well my wife did, and they said that my IPOD was fixed, well it’s not!” Then I brandished my laptop like a shield and flashed my Dell logo for all in the store to see! I could tell I had the greeter on her heels this time. As she slowly backed away she said “who did you speak to?” I retorted simply, “The “Genius” on the right”.

I was in control and I was going to get a new IPOD for free I could feel it, maybe they’d even upgrade me for my trouble because I could tell they wanted me out of there as soon as possible, my Dell was making people visibly uncomfortable! No waiting again I spoke to my original “Genius” right away. I started from the power position saying “It didn’t work; I’m getting the same message”.

I could see the wheels turning in my “Genius’s” head, so I fired another volley. I did some research online and it looks like it is most likely a problem with the new Itunes version, KaPOW!” I actually didn’t say “KaPOW” but I like to think that my eyes did. Unbelievably the “Genius” was not fazed by my newfound strength. The “Genius” looked me in the eyes (the ones that were still visibly “KaPOWing”) and said without affect, “did you try a different syncing wire”?



I responded “I sync my IPOD Touch with that wire and we’ve had no problems with that”, suddenly a bit unsure of my position in the relationship with the “Genius”. The “Genius” shot back, “Yeah, but did you try a different wire, this one’s a bit bubbled at the USB connector here”. “No” I whimpered back. Like one of Santa’s elves the “Genius” found a new wire, fashioned it to the broken IPOD, and attached it to my Dell (which suddenly looked very old compared to all the shiny new Mac Books).

Suddenly my wife’s IPOD was syncing to my laptop and I was sunk. The “Genius” asked me if I would like to buy a new wire for 20 fraking dollars and I declined thinking I’d have to have an extra at home. I ran out of the store (noticing that not one of the computers had my blog on display) with my laptop tucked underneath my shirt and my pride flopping on the Genius Bar like a fish out of water. The kicker is that I did not actually possess another syncing wire because my dog, you remember, Benjamin Linus actually chewed through my two spares about six months ago.