Friday, May 22, 2009

Benjamin Linus: No Not That One...

So I have a crazy dog. I hate to go all Marley and Me on you and write about my dog but here it goes anyway. Almost a year ago my wife and I adopted a puppy from the pound and he had one very distinguishing feature. This dog had and continues to have one blue eye and one brown eye and when he looks at you it seems as though he is saying one thing… but thinking another.

We named him the only thing that made sense for that feature, Benjamin Linus, after the misunderstood schemer on Lost. In any event, Benji has been working to live up to his name sake as much at possible. Most of the time Benji is completely harmless and does his best to please the people around him, however, it seems that he is simply biding his time waiting for the next moment to wreak havoc and change the game.

Benjamin has a habit of destroying pillows, blankets, hats, earrings, Wii remotes, pet beds, pens, chairs, and really anything he can at least partially fit in his mouth. After considerable trial and error, as the previous sentence alludes to, we finally got a system down where he was destroying less and less. Until 4 days ago, that is, when I forgot to lock his crate immediately after he got out of it.

Instead I opened his crate, walked upstairs, and took my morning shower. By the time I got out I saw Benji had dragged his bed out the doggie door. By the time I was dressed and in the backyard Benji had systematically tore open his bed and spread the stuff around all the corners of the yard.

The wife and I went to the drawing board and decided to give our bundle of energy some new freedoms while making it impossible to destroy another bed. First we permantaly removed the crate door so he is free to go in and out as he pleases. Then we got a piece of plywood, an egg crate from Bed Bath and Beyond, some stuffing out of the old bed and a sheet together to create a custom Benji bed. After some pretty ingenious engineering and breaking our swing line (non-red) stapler what we had was immobile and comfortable… I tested it out for a few Zzz’s.

The Benji special bed lasted three days. Today he sliced a hole down the middle and ripped the stuffing inside out. Any recommendations on strong fabric that is also comfortable and easy to work with? It’s greatly appreciated. Keep in mind that I took Wood Shop over Home Economics in Middle School.

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